


Just A Few Doors Down

by DeeRocketteer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-27
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-06 03:25:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/414187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeeRocketteer/pseuds/DeeRocketteer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas, on a very short notice, moved into the inner city of Houston. The last thing he wanted to do in this shitty city was to befriend some asshole.</p><p>Dave Strider has been living in the inner city Houston all of his life. The last thing he wanted to do was befriend some asshole.</p><p>Looks like they have to make the best out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Settling in

**Author's Note:**

> For the S.S Davekat Fanfiction Contest,
> 
> “I live near the  
> slaughterhouse  
> and am ill  
> with thriving.”
> 
> \- Bukowski
> 
> Ahh I dont understand why this took me forever to do, heh. Glad i'm getting this started :D

Damn this building was huge. You hated it already.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are pretty sure that you are standing in front of in one of the most dullest apartment complexes in Texas; No, the fucking universe. With once glance upwards, you see that the awful paint and bricks were supposed to blend in with the red hot sun. You quickly add that this would probably be the best place for a bunch of drunken college kids to scurry up rent for. You hoped that your dad didn’t get the rooms closer to the top of the building, because a hot and cramped room definitely is NOT your idea of a good home. Right behind you, there is an outdated butcher, a Chinese restaurant, a liquor store, and a mysterious store that you have already promised that you would never step a TOE in.

You assume that you wouldn’t have much of a problem with this place, if you weren’t living in the suburbs only hours ago. Your dad used to be a businessman, the type that went to dinners every Thursdays and business parties on Saturdays. But an incident happened at his job and suddenly there was nothing left. Luckily, he out of the ¾ of workers that left the company managed to snag about a few months payment for his leave. But, rather than finding a new job in the previous town the two of you lived in, surprisingly your dad decided to just leave altogether. 

You can’t say you were surprised that he chose the cheapest home on the block however. Saving everything you had was everyone’s business tactic during hard times. Yeah, this didn’t seem too bad now; the only problem was that you were pretty sure you weren’t going to handle this downgrade from suburb life very well. But putting your past self into consideration, change often leads to disaster.

“What a nice atmosphere!” your dad said enthusiastically, snapping you out of your thoughts for a moment. He was ecstatic, placing all of the moving boxes that were in the car into his wallet sylladex. “Think the inside will impress us too, Karkat?” The question didn’t matter, really. Your dad was going to completely turn the house inside out in a matter of days, hell maybe even in a matter of hours if he remained so keen.

You shrug, and adjust the duffel bag you had on your back before dragging out the last suitcase from the car. After your dad did store the car into his new GARAGE modus, you both walk cautiously inside the building.

As you walk through the doors, the familiar smell of Gamzee’s closet suddenly hits you in the face as a person walks by. You would probably feel nostalgic, if it didn’t smell similar to a person shitting in their underwear after setting themselves on fire. The lights in the halls and the stairs were bright, and somehow you had a feeling that sooner or later you were going run right off the catwalk and break both of your ankles and nails. Everything you seemed to touch on the stairsrail seemed to make some sort of noise, it either being something clanging to metal or an occasional shout from a room nearby. Your frown only grew as the two of you traveled higher up the stairs, realizing that your luck would sure as hell manage to snag you a first class reservation on one of the hottest and highest floors on the damn building.

Thank god, your luck had mercy upon you, your dad stops at floor 29, the second to the top floor. You at this point are not sure if you’re insanely pissed or terrified as you look down the steep stairwell. You quickly follow your dad to the corridor and stand beside him to the second brown door down the hall. Your dad beamed down on you and you rolled your eyes motioning to the door. He almost broke down the door the way he forced it open.

Other than the trouble with the door, the apartment was pretty decent. The walls were blank white, making the place a lot more spacious than you thought. You glance down at the carpet, and you just know that there was no way your dad didn’t come in here a week beforehand and did, you don’t know, SOMETHING to this floor. It looked very…inviting. 

“Well, your room should be at the end of the hall, bathrooms just across the way.” Your dad says, beginning to empty the furniture and rearrange it around the room. You grunt, dropping your duffel bag next to the kitchen counter that wasn’t far by, and entering the short hallway towards your new haven.

It honestly didn’t seem any different from the room from your old place. The walls were a light gray (perfect for the movie posters that it was going to be covered with, in a few moments.), and the room gotten relatively cramped once you dropped your bed right in the center against the wall. It got even smaller when you dropped your dresser. Holy hell, you couldn’t even breathe when you somehow shoved a wooden desk in there. It was Perfect. 

You look out the window, and instead of seeing the front yard, you realized you’re reaching the clouds. It gave you a slightly woozy feeling in your stomach. You decided that you were going to get used to it one day. But in the meantime…you let your cancer symbol curtains drape over and block out the piercing sun outside.

You take some more pointless things out, (your chair for your desk was pretty much hell to squeeze in). After throwing off your gray jacket, you flop down onto your gray bed and finally pulled out the most important item in your sylladex, the most exciting addition to your room; your laptop. At home and even at this new place, this device was essentially the only thing that you ever paid much attention to, other than your bed.

You are an ambitious ATH genius IN TRAINING. Okay, you aren’t thirteen; you admitted a long time ago you pretty much suck at it. You mostly just stare at the programs you attempted to create, imagining for hours ideal virus that create the most ideal doomsday scenario. Even now you keep telling yourself, one day. But you are mostly a gamer, and spent most of your teen life spending time talking and playing games with your friends from both school and online. 

The thought of your friends make you slouch unnaturally as you began to turn on your laptop. Almost every friend that you cared about used to be a walk away. Now it’ll be forever when you’ll see them again. Shit, you sometimes hated some of your friends a lot, but they were essentially your second family. You quickly open up the chat server Trollian. And you find out that they apparently feel the same way. 

Before you can get a good look at the horde of messages though, your dad bursts through the door. You try not to look startled and give your dad a scowl. “What is it?” You ask with a level head, slowly dragging your mouse to the Blinking Icon of GC.

“We’re going to go introduce ourselves to the neighbors!” your dad replies with enthusiasm. If you were drinking tea at that moment, you would’ve short circuited your laptop. Not only that you were slightly terrified by the neighbors you could possibly have in this place, you also didn’t give a flying fuck about meeting them at all whatsoever. However the multiple variations of these arguments didn’t seem to get the retract you wanted. It was only moment later that your hoodie was zipped up again, and the two of you walked out the door; your father beaming and you grumbling.

It wasn’t all too bad, but you immediately considered everyone inside each door fucking awful abominations of the earth, like everyone else you meet. Your neighbor was a family of seven, all of them seeming surprisingly comfortable inside the apartment that wasn’t exactly bigger than yours. They seemed just as surprised as you were as they saw a gregarious man asking for a handshake at the door. When you were acknowledged, you only gave a slightly nod and a grin. No need to be quite the big asshole yet. A few doors down, there was a tired looking woman with curls in her hair. She looked as if she was about to yell, but after seeing the charming smile from your dad, she was attempting to hide her insanely yellow teeth. You guys didn’t get to probably introduce yourself in one of the rooms, since the guy inside didn’t even crack the door open for you to enter. From what you could see inside the door, the house seemed completely dark. You and your dad both probably knew it was best not to pry as long as it was needed after catching a small scowl. In the next house, there was what an average family seemed like, with a son that looked like a college student. Your father then proposes the friendship of his and their progeny to these new neighbors. You consider it, but you notice that they were talking lowly of The Fresh prince of Bel-Air.

You never hated someone so much in your life.

You both exit the second to the last door down the hallway with confusion. This neighbor’s home was probably the most welcoming in the premises. He introduced himself as Ben. He had a large beer belly, and wore a stained black tank with a red plaid jacket. You noticed many hunting badges and dead animals hanging on the wall, you oddly found this pretty cool. Your dad found it interesting too, and eventually you found yourself examining the head of a deceased deer inside. 

“See me and my family have been huntin’ around in the mountains of Colorado to the good ol’ forests in Texas, for hundreds of years!” Ben explained, as your dad examined the badges and trophies from one box. “Most of these pictures are from generations before me, but I got a few honors flyin’ around here somewhere. Ever tried herring with a duck liver filling? When someone told me about it I was about to spit out my last dinner! Tried it the next day and it tasted like heaven! Got some in the fridge if you wanna give em’ a shot!” 

“That’s fine.” Your dad rejected quickly. “We have one more person to introduce ourselves to anywaus, right Karkat?” There was a small grunt in reply. “You know anything about the person living next door to you?” 

“Who, Jack Stevens? Nah don’t worry about that guy.” Ben said, taking the Herring out of the fridge anyways. “Kinda angry little guy, you don’t have to worry about him if you push the right buttons. He’s not entirely the most social and calm person in the world but he’s al-”

“Oh no no, we met him already, we mean the home to the right.”

Ben stopped wrapping a few stuffed herrings in plastic and looked up with a different expression. The sudden tense silence somehow caught your attention. “…Oh.”

Your dad blinked, unfazed. “What is it?” 

“Well…I’m a friendly guy and all but…” Ben started off, finding a good way to put whatever he was saying into words. “I think you might wanna skip that visit.”

You walked over to the counter with dad, thankful for Ben attempting to cut this visiting fuckery short. But your dad didn’t seem all that convinced yet. “Why not? I think everyone should be aware of their new neighbors.”

“As much as that’s appreciated son, I mean it really is. I only talk to these people once or twice a year. But those people…They’re not entirely the welcoming type. Isolated you can say. I’d met the man that lived there once, gave me the chills the moment I laid eyes on the fellow, god knows what’s going on inside that home. He’s got a son too I think, seen him heading out sometimes, shame.” There was a silence for a moment, but it was interrupted by the bag handed out to your dad. “Just trust me on this one.”

After a few more minutes of the two talking, you guys left with not only a foreign recipe, but a few other snacks to try as well. You had to admit, the chocolate covered cockroaches were not that bad, though you’ll be dammed if you ever would eat another one in your life. Or tell anyone that you had, anyways. You were about to head back towards your place, but halfway through you realize that your dad was walking in the opposite direction. 

“Dad.” You shout across the hallway, “Where are you going?”

“Cmon Karkat, they can’t be THAT bad.” You dad says, wavering you to follow him.

“Dad. he just said-“

“Let’s go.”

“Fuck, But-“

“Karkat.” Your dad snapped. “Let’s. Go.”

You were practically screaming threats of running away and never coming back in your head. When you guys stood in front of the door at the end of the hall, you were practically fuming. This was ridiculous, you wanted to go back. You were tired, annoyed, hungry, and dare you say it, God dammed friend-sick. You didn’t give a shit about this stupid neighbor that you have decided you weren’t going to give a fuck about, like practically every neighbor you have decided not to give a shit about.  
You simply fail to give a shit. Shits sold out, last remaining shit is out of order. Shit escaped with the rest of the fucks so you can’t give those out either. Shits? No shit here, try someone else they might give one or two…

You suddenly found yourself staring at your reflection in a pair of sunglasses.

You wanted to laugh. You wanted to laugh really and point at those fucking pointy shades. Your dad stared into the glasses for a moment, finding the right words to say. Shit, you were shaking; you felt a tear in your eye. So many insults and jokes ran through your mind, and you were preventing yourself to blurting them out- oh god, was his collar flipped up? Yep, and his shirt was tucked in as well! He also was wearing a gray hat, indoors. This suddenly became even more difficult.

“Hello! I just moved in on the other side of the hall.” Your dad introduced, looking entirely unfazed by the choice of wardrobe of this mysterious man. “I’m Carl Vantas, and this is my son, Karkat. We’re just getting acquainted with our new neighbors, and you just happened to be one of them! So, nice to meet you.” Your dad held out his hand to the man, but he only stared at it. Your amusement fell a little when the guy folded his arms instead. Now it was simply awkward. There was a silence for a moment, as your dad slowly placed his hand down. “O…kay-”

“That all?”

“Oh, excuse me?”

“Is that all.”

You dad’s eyes narrowed slightly, but his charming smile didn’t go away. You didn’t know how your dad managed to keep the family’s quick temper in check. Maybe it came with age. “Well, just wanted everyone around the town to know.”

“Settling in as fucking neighborhood watch, huh?” The man sighed, holding out his hand nonchalantly. “Seems legit. Name’s Strider. I’d love to join. Do we have to sign an application? Don’t worry, I have plenty of blood to sign all the documents in. Other people on this floor are joining, right? This might be a safe world after all. I believe in you.”

You haven’t seen your dad at a complete loss of words for a long time. The last time was when you first introduced him to Gamzee when you thirteen. He was now staring at the hand, smile now being completely forced. The man’s expression on the other hand was completely unfazed.

You couldn’t stand the awkward confusion, so you decided to look down. But as you attempted to, you noticed someone else inside. There was a kid, around your age it looked like- oh hell he was wearing shades too. Obnoxiously large straight out of the movie Ben Stiller shades. And what the fuck was that in his hand? Was that an ass? This was too much.

You tried to hold back your laugh, you really tried, and so what came out was a one awkward hurking sound. The attention was now on you, as you attempted to wipe the tears out of your eyes. “S-Shit, sorry.” You force out after you manage to breathe. “Just ignore me. You know what dad, I’m just am going to head back. Its way to fucking bright here, I should’ve brought my swirly shaped ocular protectors over on this side of the hall. The lighting here is completely ridiculous. ” 

The man downright began glaring at you (you think? You couldn’t entirely tell), and you caught a small scowl from the guy in the back. But you know what, fuck them both because they both look like douchebags. With a wave and a chuckle, you started heading back to your complex. Your dad gave a light smile, and started to follow you back as well. A few seconds later, you hear a loud door slam behind you. When the two of you got back to the apartment complex, you weren’t sure if your dad was yelling at your actions, or the other guys.

You really didn’t care, it was worth it.


	2. Meet the Neighbor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so i did a pesterlog and a memo (they took forever by the way) and neither of them seem to be working on the preview (coding wise)???? So, i'll assume they dont work when its posted while i post this chapter. Gah sorry i'm still incredibly new to the archive and not very familiar with the issues found on this site, and this is actually my first attempts at pesterlogs on the site :U
> 
> Also apparently it keeps eating the chapter up or something like that, i'm stull working on the issue if its still there, so dont get too mad with me >
> 
> EDIT1: Okay, the chapter cut off problem was solved! Now now to the pesterlog skin....
> 
> EDIT2: AND I FIGURED OUT THE PESTERLOG SKIN, WOOO! :D Now you can enjoy this hilarity in a more canonical format.

It was worse than you thought.

 

You managed to get back to your room about an hour or two ago, and you were still trying to catch up with the messages you have gotten. Almost every single one of your friends was trying to contact you for the past couple of hours. Terezi, Sollux…fuck, even Equius, were giving you sudden condolences and sudden sorrow. It was as if they found about this yesterday. You swore you had given them at least a weeks’ notice.

 

You scrolled though some of them, and most of them were flat out depressing to read. Feferi was the student president for senior year, so she told you that you could still graduate with the class as long as you passed your classes online. You then saw her begin to role-play about mermaids, and stopped reading immediately after you saw *Tears* and *Glub*. ”  Nepeta, your other roleplaying, ‘highly attached’, friend, seemed like she was sobbing as she sent her messages through. Another friend of yours, Aradia, sent literally hundreds of links to bookstores and Best Buys locations in lack of anything else to say, since you did love watching movies. One of your most tolerable friends, Kanaya, Promptly threatened you that you were required to visit every other month or she would use the Tools in Woodshop to cut you in half, then turn you into a mannequin. And…Oh god, Eridan was seriously willing to rent out an entire condo for you, hell.

 

You hate to admit it, but some of the messages made you crack a grin. But it really didn’t change the situation of how this fucking sucked. You decided to make up for past you being a dumb shit and actually letting this happen, and decided to respond to every single message with meticulous thought. In other words, you were going to tell everyone to calm the fuck down and promise a year’s worth of monthly visiting. You first start off with Sollux, who previously had been going on a bipolar rampage about thirty minutes ago. He was suggesting codes from hacking the transport system to get you to travel back for free. He also threatened to mod nukes on every Call of Duty game you play for the rest of your life. Hopefully he’s calmed down a little bit now.

 

CG: FUCKING HELL. 

CG: ALRIGHT.

CG: FIRST OFF, I REALLY APPRECIATE THE SHITTY MADE UP WHENYOUAREINFUCKINGHEAT CODES AND ETERNAL GAMERTUDE HELL YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME.

CG: I'M CURRENTLY MAKING ROCKET FUEL OUT OF THE EAGER HOT GAS AND LIQUID I AM EMITING FROM MY WINDPIPES.

CG: I CANNOT WAIT TO USE THIS PERFECT INFORMATION AND GROW UP TO BE A RESPONSIBLE MAN.

CG:  A RESONSIBLE MAN THAT CAN PAY FOR HIS FUCKING BUS TICKET

CG: AND REALIZE THAT ALL CALL OF DUTY GAMES ARE COMPLETE SHIT

CG: OH WAIT I ALWAYS THOUGHT CALL OF DUTY IS COMPLETE SHIT

CG: AND I ALWAYS BUY A BUS TICKET

CG: THIS IS

CG: SOLLUX NEEDS TO CALM HIS SHIT

CG: CEPTION

TA: kk ii don’t even thiink ii can de2criibe how much of a total tool you are beiing riight now

TA: oh waiit how could ii forget you are the only a22hole that thinks Battlefiield ii2 actually better than COD

TA: and still walk2 on 2chool bu2e2 wiith a Coby and a wallet

CG: FUCK YOU

TA: but ii’ll get two that later tz 2aiid 2he wa2 liiterally riight now openiing a memo

CG: I’M SORRY THAT THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A SHOOTER SEALED AWAY YOUR SENSE OF GOOD GAMES

CG: WAIT WHAT

 

You raise an eyebrow, noticing the memo icon five seconds later begins to blink. You see Terezi post a new memo on the board….H4NG TH3 TR41TOR.

 

gallowsCalibrator[GC] opened a new memo on H4NG TH3 TR41TOR

 

GC:  UGH

GC:  TH3 ONLY TH1NG TH4T 1S MOT1V4T1NG M3 TO M41NT41N TH1S BO4RD 1S 1TS N4M3

GC:  OK4Y GUYS

GC:  1NCLUD1NG K4RK4T WHO H4S B33N R3C3NTLY S3NT3NC3D TO D34TH

GC:  1M QU1CKLY OP3N1NG TH1S M3MO FOR ON3 R34SON SO NO BULLSH1T OK4Y

GC: TH1S 1S R34LLY 1MPORT4NT

GC: H4S 4NYON3 S33N G4MZ33 4NYWH3R3 L4T3LY

GC:  1 HAV3NT S33N H1M 4T 4LL 4ND H3S NOT 4NSW3R1NG H1S PHON3

GC: NOT L1K3 H3 H4S 4NY 1D34 OF HOW TO US3 TH4T STUP1D TOUCH SCR33N OR 4NYTH1NG

twinArmageddons [TA] began responding to memo

carcinoGeneticist  [CG] began responding to memo

TA: ehehehehe are you 2eriiou2

TA: he2 probably ju2t 2leeping or 2omething

TA: another poiintle22 memo come2 two a quiick end

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS BOARD NAME

CG: AND WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I MAKE A MEMO ABOUT IT SOONER

GC: B3C4USE YOU H4V3 B33N S3NT3NC3D TO TH3 G4LLOWS TH4TS WHY

GC: 4ND H3 MUST B3 KNOCK3D OUT TH3N B3C4USE 1 H4V3NT HE4RD FROM H1M 4LL D4Y

TA: defiinately the facepaiint

CG: AHAHAHAHAHA AND FUCK YOUR FLIMSY ROLEPLAYING MASK HIDING YOUR SADNESS

GC:  WHY WOULD 1 W34R 4 M4SK FUCKPOD 1M BL1ND

GC:  4R3NT YOU TWO 3V3N SL1GHTLY CONC3RN3D 4BOUT H1M M1GHT B31NG GON3 SOM3WH3R3

arachnidsGrip [AG] began responding to memo

arsenicCatnip  [AC] began responding to memo

GC: SH1T W41T LOL K4RK4T G3T OFF TH3 M3MO

caligulasAquarium [CA] began responding to memo

CG: WHAT

TA: omg

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began responding to memo

GC: GUYS DON’T RU1N TH3 M3MO

AC: :33 < *AC is very upset about karkitty’s disappearance!*

GC: NOW 1S NOT TH3 TIM3 N3P4T4

centaursTesticle [CT] began responding to memo

CG: FUCK NEPETA NOT NOW

AC: :33 < ):

AG: Karkat Vant8s.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began responding to memo

CA: kar wwhy the fuckin glub arent you respondin to my chats you basshole

AG: How daaaaaaaare you leave the premises.

GA: I’d Hate To Interrupt But Unfortunately I Am Not Entirely Certain That Karkat Has Gotten The Warning Message I Have Delivered Shortly After His First Appearance On Trollian

TA: oh my god thii2 ii2 hilarious

TA: even aa ii2 here

GA: Of An Imminent Omen

AG: As I recall, you signed an oath in your blood.

AA: karkat did y0u receive the addresses and l0cations 0f the best buys

GC: VR1SK4 1 W4S GO1NG TO S4Y TH4T

CA: oh my cod

GC: 1 TOLD YOU WORD FOR WORD 3V3RYTH1NG YOU 4R3 4ND WH4T YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO S4Y

AA: 0_0

CA: kar don’t fuckin ignore me this is actually important so everyone can GO AWAY

CT: D --> Pardon my interjection

AA:  I wasnt aware that I was supp0sed to be a relevant h0n0r in this mem0

CA: i called the reel estate agent like ten minutes ago i NEED you to look at those selections I sent you

AG: You must have forgotten, foooooooolish boy.

AG: The rule concerning the……..

AC: :33 < *ac slowly ponders over to karkitty and snuzzles and purrs in his lap as she reads this memo”

GA:  Karkat Do You Oblige To Those Conditions

GC: TR41TOR >:[

CT: D --> but I believe that we should probably be…

AG: ……..

TA: maybe iit2 becau2e you hardly re2pond to any memo aa

AG: ……..

AC: :33 < *ac recognizes her purrfect best furrend equius! She hops off the lap of karkitty and h33ds to her friendships call!*

GC: TR41TOR

CT: D --> STRONGly concerned of makaras well being

TA: liike

AG: ................

GC: SH3S GO1NG TO S4Y TR41TOR

TA: ever

AG: ……..

GC: TR41TOR

CA: kar seriously fucking reply already hes gonna be knockin any second

AG: Traaaaaaaaitor!!!!!!!! >::::)

AA: 0h

AA: its difficult reading mem0s because a l0t of pe0ple end up talking

GC: OH OH WA1T GUYS EQU1US 1S R1GHT

AA: at 0nce

AG: Ugh, why c8nt you just realize that I was better off s8ying it than you????????

CT: D --> Nepeta, you will stop roleplaying this instant

GA: Vriska Can You Manage To Get The Keys To The Woodshop Classroom Tomorrow

TA: 2hiit ii cant barely keep up wiith thii2 everyone 2hut up

TA: god ii cant 2top laughiing

CT: D--> Now is not the time

GC: 1F YOU GUYS DON’T SHUT UP 1LL K1CK 4LL OF YOU OUT OF TH3 BO4RD

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

AC:  :33 < Can you purromise me later then? :33

CA: kar

AG: Oh my god, Eridan.

CA: kar

GC: STOP

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

AA: 0_0

CA: kar

CA: kar

AA: i think i am g0ing t0 leave

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: kar

CG: GOD DAMMIT YOU FUCKING USELESS PILE OF HORSHIT CATMANUVERING ROLEPLAYING ASSHATES MADE FROM A FUCKING GODMADE VERSION OF HELL SHUT YOUR FUCKING WINDPIPES BEFORE I RUN AWAY TO RUSSIA BUILD A NUKE AND MAKE IT HIT ALTERNIA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES

CA: kar

CA: kar

CA: karoh

AG: Wow, rude.

CA: hey

CG: I WILL GET TO YOU WHEN I FUCKING GET TO YOU

CG: YOU DON’T NEED TO RAID A FUCKING MEMO ABOUT IT

CG: MAYBE I COULD BE RESPONDING TO YOU GUYS

CG: HAVE YOU NUMBSKULLS THOUGHT ABOUT FUCKING THAT

TA: ii 2mell COD reference2..

AC: :33 < Sorry 3:

CG: YEAH

CG: AND WE HAVE A FUCKING FRIEND MISSING

CG: CANT WE THINK ABOUT THAT FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS YOU IGNORANT EASILY DISTRACTED MONKEYS

CG: HOLY

CG: SHIT.

CG: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SOLLUX THAT GAME WAS SHIT SO I USE IT IN THREATS AND IN SAY IT TO EVERY FUCKING HACKER ON THAT FUCKING GAME

CG: WHICH IS TO FUCKING EVERYONE

adiosToreador [AT] began responding to memo

AG: Well, to 8e honest,

AG: I was not even remotely serious a8out the killing thing.

AT: HEY GUYS,,,,

AT: i FOUND gAMZEE AND HOUR AGO WHEN i WAS COMING BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL

AG: I 8ctually don’t care about this at all.

AT: oN KARKATS PORCH

AT: ,,,,OLD PORCH

 

You feel like shit. You felt like shit when you finally left the memo and when you shut off your laptop. You felt like shit when you contemplated on throwing your laptop across the room for a moment, but just drop it on the floor instead. You felt like shit while you pulled back the covers and basically screamed in your pillow.

 

Gamzee was indeed on your porch. From what Feferi assumed , he was there the entire evening. Tavros noticed him…just sitting there, in front of your door. Good thing there wasn’t any thunderstorms or anything, because Tavros had to call Feferi to manage to convince him to go with them. He kept saying that Karkat promised that they were “going to chill today”.

 

 You knew you didn’t make a stupid plan like that. But even if you didn’t, you knew that if you were still there, you’d let him in anyways. God, if only you were there. You are basically a senior, but hell if you were going to school in this place; you were taking all of your classes online now.  Your friends were destroying memos over you now, but you feared that sooner or later they’ll move on, even that idiot Gamzee. Would you be able to forget about them though? Did you even want to? Why the fuck didn’t you fucking say anything to your dad before???

 

You wanted to cry, you wanted to spill all of the tears right now and ruin your favorite pillow. But you knew crying was not for men and bawling in even your own presence made you feel fucking dumb.

 

Thinking it over for a moment, you decide that a tear or two wouldn’t kill you.

 

\--

 

The next few days were pretty uneventful. Your dad started his new job, and tells you about the first few days of settling in have been pretty fine. He said to give it a year or two, and he could pay off his debt and get a better place to live. He really didn’t say anything about moving back though, but you didn’t really care.  You decided the next place you were going to ever move into, was into a dorm or something.

 

In the meantime, you made the best of what you had now, and highly decorated cheap home. For the most part you played games and talked with friends when they weren’t at to school. And during that time, you…played more games or did your own schoolwork online. You realize quickly that you either needed to but more games or find someone else to talk to. After getting banned from virtually every network on every possible game you have, you decided on the former.

 

You go on your laptop, and scribbled down some of the addresses Aradia gave you to find a nearby Best Buy. You manage to see that one of the first ones was only a bus ride away. You look at the clock, as you find your trusty gray jacket. It was 12:15. You decide to try to make it back in an hour.

 

The moment you walk out of your house for the first time since you moved here, you place your key under the door. For some reason, people aren’t smart enough to look under the mats or anything if they wanted to break in. Somehow, they end up searching for a key in all of the places but the mat. It’s one of your pet peeves in movies and unfortunately in real life situations. Your dad had a tendency to do it all of the time. But you guess in a situation where you didn’t want to carry or lose your key, it had its advantages.

 

You walk outside and miss the bus that you could’ve made if you ran down the stairs. You didn’t practically mind, though for some reason you still manage to grumble as you sat and waited. About twenty minutes later, a new bus arrived, and you promptly walk in and shove a set of quarters in the slot.  You realized that you had indeed forgotten your ipod (yeah, fuck you Sollux.), which only annoyed you even more. But then you remembered that you were taking into a breath of fresh air just moments ago.

 

You must be allergic.

 

You manage to find the Best Buy, and proceed buy a couple of games and movies. Your dad usually left money for you to eat during the day, but you’ve ordered a large pizza and pretty much ate its leftovers since. You didn’t mind starving for another couple days anyways, at least you’d be entertained. Plus it’d be a great time to try that…fish shit that’s been sitting in the fridge….No, you tell yourself to wait that one out a little longer.

 

You buy Valentine’s Day (You have actually been dying to see this movie) and Skyrim (Terezi wouldn’t shut up about it). There was a dollar store nearby, so you go there and buy a large bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos and a 12 pack of Mountain Dew. You were now set for another few months.

 

 

You had to wait thirty minutes for a bus heading home arrived, and managed to get back home a lot quicker than you expected. You planned to completely fuck up your brisk schedule and not make it home until six in the evening, but surprisingly it took you around two hours to do, tops. You make a note to thank Aradia later.

 

It took forever to get up to floor twenty nine; God, how high up is this floor? It was definitely too hot to not have an air conditioned, working elevator in the premises. You somehow prevail, out of breath, and reach your floor. You walk down the hall, and you slow your pace almost instantly. You were out of breath before, you are practically dead now.

 

It was that kid, with the shameful Ben Stiller shades. You didn’t have a really good look at him before, but now that his stupid pointy shades dad wasn’t in the way, you managed to snag a better look. He was virtually the opposite of you, his hair being light blond while yours a pitch black. He wore a bright red neon shirt, while you wore dull gray. Hell, you suspected he might’ve had a pitcher of water in his sylladex, cancelling out your nuclear horse piss.

 

You tense, but you still walk towards your door without anything to say to the douche in front of you. He looked like he was about to enter his condo too, but for some reason he just stood there, staring at you.

 

You were now officially creeped out, and weren’t sure if you wanted to reach down for the keys to your room first. You stay cool, and pretend that you don’t realize the door was locked. You realize that this was the dumbest thing you could’ve ever do, but you don’t break face. You didn’t break face until your opponent broke face. Or he pissed you off. You reached down, and feel under the door for where you stored your key the first time. You then run your fingers under the door again. And then for a third time.

 

“Looking for something?”

 

The voice was totally foreign to you, but you knew there was something about that tone. You looked up so fast that you thought your neck was going to fly through the roof. The kid was throwing and catching your key. His face was still blank, but even you noticed his eyebrows rise from those obnoxious outdated glasses.

 

You literally growled. “Give me back my fucking keys you rejected actor goggled little shit.”

 

His lip curled slightly, looks like that hit a nerve. But he still stood still for a moment. “Catch me if you can.” He replied, saluting you off as he walked backwards, and disappeared into the door at the end of the hall.

 

Without a second thought, other than beating the shit out of this guy, you chase him.


	3. Neighborly Activities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Originally, this was going to be apart of chapter two, but the memo already stretched it out, so i just separated it.
> 
> Just for the people wondering why this chapter seemed a little bit shorter.
> 
> EDIT2: Okay, so the chapter has been revised and checked. Now the reading should be a little less painful HAHA! :,D

Why were there so many fucking stairs?

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you were currently chasing some asshole that stole your house keys. You chased him into a small corridor, and find yourself in front a large set of stairs. There was a door at the top, but it looked like a mouse hole from where you stood. You really didn’t understand how the building was appealing to your dad yet other than its cheap mortgage. This place was practically made of staircases, yet they couldn’t afford one elevator? Fucking hell. 

What caught you as odd was that you knew that you were just behind the tool, yet he was nowhere in sight. You don’t give it much thought, and huffed as you stepped on the first staircase. If he could travel these stairs in a matter of seconds, you could too. You went into a sprint, and you prevailed to the top of the stairs, though gasping for air. You congratulate yourself for having traveled thirty flights of stairs in less than ten minutes. You’d consider that an achievement, if you weren’t wheezing.

You gain your breath, but you didn’t dare to open the door until you contained yourself a little bit. But right after so, you kick open the door and storm out, examine the cityscape out into the horizon. You were on the roof. 

You weren’t prepared for the heat, fuck. Sweat rolled down your neck; and you uncomfortably adjust your gray hoodie as you scanned the area for the kid.

Almost instantly after, you see something flash by you. Your eyes followed the disturbance to the higher part of the roof. Your dad would murder you for even being on the roof in general, but you knew for sure he would never let go of the fact that you lost your key either. You grimace, and quickly climb up to the higher part of the roof.

You climb up, but rather than immediately going to lie on your back, you try to look like a badass warrior that just climbed up from the inside of a volcano. He was on the other side of the roof, and you stared him down as you stood up. You refused to let any of the stare down shit to happen, but with his shades, you couldn't tell if you were both on the same page. He had his hands folded, but you noticed the glint of your keys in his hand. It looked like he was waiting for something out of you. You sure as hell were going to give him something. You were going to give this guy a good ol’ suburban beat down.

“So, what. You want me to break those glasses before I can get my keys?” You ask, taking a curious step closer. You made sure your appearance show nothing but intimidation.

The guy didn’t say anything, you knew he was staring you down now. After what seemed like forever, he fucking shrugs. You almost choke on the built up rage in your stomach. 

“Well, sure.” The guy says calmly, throwing your key up and down as if it was his own. “I wasn’t going to do anything with this shitty key anyways. Actually, I was planning to throw it in front of a passing car. I call the game…Keying a car: The Airborne Edition." He started to describe the game vigorously, “You see, you throw a key at an ongoing car. If it breaks the window, you get a point. If not, they win a new house. The games pretty black and white, but when you consider that the key belongs to some prepubescent wolverine with an anger problem, with some issue with sunglasses no doubt, the game seems more like a benefit to all of us.” 

You clenched your fists so tightly that if you kept it up you’d probably leave a scar. He let out a sarcastic sigh, and you almost thought you far passed that point. “But, your activity sounds like fucking Monopoly! I say let’s play that instead. But, new rule.” He places the key in his pocket and begins to walk quickly over to you. His facial expression changed from casual to dead serious quickly. you take a step back. “If I land two hits on you, the keys get to fly off the roof.”

You blankly stare for a moment, before deciding that wearing this hoodie might be a little inconvenient. “Fair enough…” You start, throwing it to the side, walking towards the boy with speed equal to his. “Yeah this works, because I’ll break your fucking jaw so many times that you’ll forget how to count you nooksniffer!”

\---

To this day, you still don’t recall who threw the first punch.

\---

You don’t know how long it’s been. You did know that you and this guy were now on the ground, throwing and kicking each other for dear life. 

You realized quickly that this dude was fucking fast on his feet, already snagging his first punch in the nose a few minutes in the fight. But even with his speed, he couldn’t outmatch your combination of your own speed and strength. You’ll be dammed if years of skipping classes, stopping fights between your friends, or having 50 win streaks with Jin Kazama on Tekken will not help you in this fucking battle.

You manage to find your way on top and begin to get payback for your nose. But then, you remembered your promise of breaking his shades and you confidently grin. The kid remembered too, and seemed to panic; blocking every hit for the glasses. You managed to clout him on the side a few times, but around the tenth punch, he managed to grab your right fist, and began pushing himself up. You try to hit with your left, and he managed to grab that too. Shit, he was stronger than you thought, you weren’t prepared for this. You put extra force downwards, but he was at his knees, pushing himself up to make you both stand. In moments, Instead of pushing him back down, you were now pushing him away. He had held of your fists tightly, you were trapped. But hell if you weren’t going to still push with all of your fucking might. You guys were at a clash, pushing to what seemed to be nowhere, unsure what to do next. The pushing became easier; oh shit it was too easy, NO!

The bastard! He released resistance, and you stumble over. You try to react, but you end up meeting an uppercut to the jaw instead. “FUCK!” You shout in pain, flying back on your ass, collapsing on your back. You clasp your jaw. Blood was coming out of your mouth and flooding through your fingers.

The blond staggered, wishing that he had something to lean on. “That…that was two.” He managed to spatter out. He was spitting out blood before cursing under his breath. After a moment, he shoved his bloody hand in his pocket and pulled out your key. “You’re fucking crazy…I’ll….give you that- ow, shit…did you fucking scratch me? Bitch.” He began to drag to the edge of the roof. “But rules are fucking rules, bro.”

“Hey, Fuckass.”

He turns around, an eyebrow raised, looking rather annoyed “What, still want some more?”

“Yeah, I’ll pull out my fucking strife specibus next time too if you don’t realize how fucking bright it is and throw my key off of the roof.”

“What the fuck are you…” he starts off, before his red eyes good wide. He realized that his shades were indeed, missing. And after frantically looking around, he finds his Ben Stiller shades right next to the bleeding boy, you.

You began to stand up, though it really didn’t help your bleeding. You really didn’t care at the moment. “I’m…not in the mood…for any more of your ninja game. Now give me back my key or I’ll step on this mall clearance shit.”

Your opponent stared at you, stabbing you with emotions you didn’t notice before. His calm expression though returned, moving the key out of danger. “Whatever, it’s wasn’t like I was really going to throw the key away.” He informed as you stumble over to him with his shades. “Just wanted to make you bleed a little bit.”

“Like I give a shit, fuck you too.” You reply lazily, tossing over the shades to the guy. “I hope you bleed and die and think of my fist to your face as one of your final thoughts.” the guy huffs (which you assume was a laugh), and equips his shades. 

“I’ll put you in my will.” The guy replied sarcastically, “I’ll tape a key to an envelope, and write an apology letter in my blood. I’ll sign it while I’m having seizures. Yep, sounds like a plan.” He smirked, tossing your key over to you. You scowled at him, opening your palm for the key to safely land inside of it.

Now, you knew you definitely were not the luckiest guy in the world. You have never considered yourself having terrible luck, though. But now, you felt like you broke mirrors with mirrors, own houses made of umbrellas, and sleep in a bed made out of spilled salt that poured from the ceiling. Your key was so close to your hand, but largest gust of wind Texas has ever seen comes blowing onto the roof, making the key go into the complete opposite direction of its landing point. You watch it go in horror, flying straight off the edge of the roof.

You dash for it, both hands trying to catch it as it goes down. But, you feel a huge shove backwards and the key falls from your grasp.

“What the FUCK!?” the guy yells, pushing you back into the safety of the roof. “Were you supposed to grow fucking wings there?”

“I HAD IT! I FUCKING. HAD IT.” you scream, now freaking out. Shit, you lost your key, _you lost your key_. How the hell you are you going to get back inside your house?

You and the boy stare down to the streets below for a moment, wondering if the key really did hit a window shield of a car below. 

This was painfully ironic.

**END OF ACT ONE**


	4. House Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, i'd like to apoligize for the wait.
> 
> Finals and the last few days of school was last week, so i really didnt have time to do any sort of writing then, and when i did i totally wasted it on sleeping/playing video games. I'm so sorry! 
> 
> But, now its summer break, and i have PLENTY of time on my hands to get to a lot of things i've been holding off, including this. So that being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter and expect more soon!
> 
> EDIT: what nice timing, updating on Karkats Birthday, ehehe XD

You were staring at a pile of ass.

You have been exposed many odd situations in your lifetime. You’ve tasted your dad’s first meatloaf creation; you have been taught how to chart relationships using ketchup and jelly, you examined a room full of naked centaur posters. You have seen some crazy shit, but this was completely foreign to you. 

You were now inside the home of Dave Strider (you demanded his name earlier, so you could properly threaten to report him to the cops). You have indeed since the previous hour, gotten to know him considerably better beyond the fact that he was a “Fat sucking warpfucker”. 

For one thing, you discover that he is quiet the dutiful associate (After dragging him down thirty flights of stairs to help you find your key), a man of concentration (He managed to ignore every single insult you threw at him as you forced him to scan the sidewalks), but insanely calm when he’d gotten disappointed results (He only stared at you while you panicked and screamed like a dying pig.). 

Dave also, is a very generous man, who let you reside in his apartment for the time being. Predictably, that isn’t true at all, you indeed threatened that if he didn’t let you stay in his house you would sit in front of his door and make fart and sex noises. He claimed that was because you were a “Fucking dead chihuahua with twenty sets oxygen tubes implanted in your skull”, and you easily retorted with a comment of how he had complete control over the wind and also dragging you on the rooftop for this “inconsequential bullshit”. You guys had a wonderful, enlightening conversation while he used HIS keys and unlocked his door. Then bam, you were completely speechless by the overwhelming amount of fuck that his apartment had to offer, primarily the mysterious ass that you caught your attention before. Newsflash, there was literally more than a hundred of them lying around his fucking floor!

They were different colors too, and oddly they were also all BRIGHT colors. No matter how much you tried examining the other shit in the place, your eyes found yourself looking as the plush ass again, or even one that seemed even obnoxious than the other. They had a large ass in the back, and a suspiciously long nose. You knew it was for your own good that you DIDN’T want to pry on their purpose. You really didn’t want to spectacle on why they were everywhere, either.

You have no idea where possible-mysterious-hobby-Dave went or what he was doing. After tending to each other’s battle wounds, he told you to do something for the next couple of hours and wandered down the hall. You assumed that his apartment wasn’t much different than yours, and he retreated to his room that was probably similar to yours. You didn’t really mind being by yourself in a strangers house, Your dad was knocking door to door to complete strangers when you first arrived here. The only problem was, you just needed something to do.

Of course, today was the day that you decided to leave your laptop home. Hell, you sort of regretted going out in the first place now. You looked through your sylladex, scanning for anything that you could entertain you for the next couple of hours. 

You have a stack modus, and yes, you are fully aware that stack fucking sucks in terms of entertainment and challenge. But it was a hell of a lot better than the Hacker Modus you had previously. The memories of those days made you cringe from the unnecessary time wasted. The Modus was just a temporary, until you got something a little more tolerable to use. 

You obviously still had your pack of Mountain Dew, Chips, and the games you bought, but none of them could be used “properly” without a console. You also had your (flip) phone, Wallet, and a few other things that you kept around just in case. 

You scanned your sylladex, and then scanned it another 50 million times. What the fuck were you supposed to do for the next few hours? You could send of your friends a text, they should be just getting out of school by now. You took your phone out of your sylladex and held it, but suddenly, you placed it back where it belonged. 

What were you, desperate? They probably have just gotten out of school or are still at a club. There’s no way you were going to look like you were completely bored. You were having a blast, with your unopened game and injured mouth. Just nice, extreme-

“…Stack.”

You flinched and turned quickly to see Dave once again, leaning on the wall with his arms folded. He wasn’t smiling, but you definitely caught that he looked very amused. You pondered on the question of how long he’s been there. Then the question of how long were you staring into the depths of your modus came into mind.

Sometimes you wished that you didn’t always look like a fucking idiot.

Regardless, you grunted at his presence before pretending that you didn’t give a shit about his spooky teleportation powers, or his ability to have a straight face with the plethora of ass puppets around. “So what? It’s convenient so…well, I think you had enough ‘fuck you’ for one day…how about ‘take my fucking modus and stack it up your waste chamber you elitist prick.’ ” 

“Might as well be in my ass instead of being exposed to the open public.” He shot back, walking towards the kitchen, “I only know one other idiot that still uses that shit. That modus is blander than Cameron Diaz.” He stopped in his tracks, and thought about it for a moment, “You know what, I take that back. She had a pretty acceptable rack to make up for it. Also, she’s pretty funny even though she always winds up in the shittiest movies.”

You glared at him for a long time, taking all of your fucking heroic might slowly descending from the heavens to not jump over the couch and suffocate him in his own puppet ass. Hell, you weren’t even breathing right. Cameron Diaz is god sent. How fucking dare he taint her with the identity of, of bland? 

He caught your death stare, but simply shrugged and opened his fridge, shoving what it seemed to be…hold on, was that…was that a fucking sword?! Holy fuck, he has swords in his fridge. It was then; you also realized that not only did these puppets seem to be everywhere, but multiple weapons as well. 

“Let me guess, you are hoping that your weapons smell like leftovers??!” You say with alarm and sarcasm, watching him taking out a bottle of what seemed to be apple juice. 

“Mmmm, yep. Bro likes to keep them to ward off the puppet thieves. Some people would really like to get their hands on these choice asses around the house.” He took a sip of his drink, giving you a suspicious nod, “Yeah, I’ve caught you staring at them and having ideas. I’m sorry sir, they’re strictly puppet sexual and don’t like to be harassed by the living; minus Bro of course.” He let out a swooned sigh, “Have to admit though, Miss Neon Pink does have lovely eyes though…If only.”

“Ms. Pink would be offended that you didn’t pay attention to her exquisite nose and remarkable ass width you ignorant piece of trash.”

That gotten a small chuckle out of him, and hell, it even made you smile a bit. You still hated the guy though. “But, Minus admiring you and your apparent brother’s sword and puppet fetish, I need something to do until my dad gets back.” You might as well ask about some other thing to do now, rather than risk catching the disease called tedium.

“I’m your babysitter, not your performer.” He retorted, walking down the hall, “I’m only required to keep you quiet and put you to bed at eight P.M sharp.”

“Fuck that!” You say, getting up and trailing behind him. “If I had my fucking key, I would be eating, playing my new game and contemplating to take a nap at 8 A.M. You HAVE to have some sort of computer or something that I DESERVE to waste my goddamn time on.”

“I have one and Bro has one, each in our rooms.” He stopped and turned around staring you right in the eye. “YOU are not going in either of them, so shoo, back to the puppet ass.”

You bitched and moaned, but eventually you got over it and went back into the living room. Okay, this couldn’t be that bad you were going to be in here for like two hours. Just sit around until your dad calls you and bam, you will never have to think about this place ever again. You can do this…All you needed to do was sit…and wait…

 

\--

 

“You signed me up for WHAT?”

“ A youth club.”

You stared at your dad as he slid a brochure across the coffee table. “I knew you are having a hard time moving.” He started off as you snatched and scanned it furiously. “Since it’s more than likely that you have been sitting at home playing games all day, I thought it would be nice to go and possibly make new friends there.”

“What made you decide that this was a good idea?!” You ask furiously, tempted to rip of the brochure in front of him. You wanted to rip it through the face of the blonde girl with the bubbles looking like she was having just a blast. She was having a blast, but you sure as hell weren’t going to. The place probably didn’t even have any bubbles, son of a bitch. “Dad, we’ve been over this a thousand times already. I don’t just sit around; I socialize with others on a daily basis. The only flaw is that-”

“-They just so happen to not know of your identity. Yes, Karkat, you have informed me of this a thousand times. But, I think that you desperately need to make friends out of your infinite social group. The group starts at twelve and ends around three.”

“Dad, I am no-“

“The place is a bus drive away, so I’ll drive you there since it’s close to work and you can ride the bus back since I get off at six and I won’t be home to pick you up; I bought you a month’s worth of bus tokens.” Your dad began walking over to the kitchen, and you eagerly followed “But hey, you’ll have a few hours to yourself anyways, you’re not going to die over this, Karkat.”

“No, this is stupid; this is only a waste of money. I will only be here for literally a half of year; I have friends back at home that want me to visit every month for the rest of their lives. Why the almighty hell on earth would I want to meet other tools that don’t want to be there anymore than I do??”

“Well for one thing, you’ll have something in common with them. Maybe they like those movies you like so much.” Your dad says, looking in the fridge before a whack of week old fish smacked him in the face. “Phew! Jesus Karkat, do you not smell this? This smell could’ve ruined the fridge. How many times do I have to tell you that if you’re not going to eat it, Throw it. The hell. Away.” Your dad tossed the biohazard in the trash and examined your distressed expression. “But, you’re not changing my mind about this, boy.”

“Dad.” You start off, anger already reaching a point. “I am seventeen years old. I think I am capable of having a social life without some stupid happy buddy club-”

“Karkat.” Your dad snapped. “You’re going.”

“But-“

“You.”

“FUCK-”

“ARE.”

“GOD DAMMIT DAD-”

“Going.”

“MOTHER-“

“Going.”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRAAGHGGHH-”

You storm off to your room, and you hear your dad shout down the hall, “Going!” as he sipped his iced tea.

 

\--

Your name is Dave Strider, and…dammit _not again_. One day you are going to slash open every single one of these puppets and throw them off the roof.

Yeah, you have puppets all over your apartment. There is a reason behind their presence, but you REALLY DON’T WANT TO GET INTO THAT. Sure, when you were younger, you would boast about the puppets to your friends and how awesome they were. But then again you were also an insufferable prick. You wised up since then.

Currently, you just kicked a shitload of smuppets out of the way to get to the fridge, where your beloved bottles of apple juice were waiting to be consumed. You would say it was Christmas in here, but…yeah, it was motherfucking Christmas in here. 

Unfortunately, your refreshment isn’t as enjoyable as it usually is, due to your injured cheek. Yesterday, you picked a fight with a kid that apparently moved in…you don’t know, week or two ago? You didn’t start caring about the guy until he basically insulted you and your bro the moment he laid eyes on the two of you. No one fucked with a Strider, you were pretty much obliged to smoothly lay him out after he left on such an discourteous note. 

However, when you finally to do something about it, you quickly realize that the guy was….something else.

You were expecting some average scrawny kid from the suburbs, who had no idea how to even land a punch but could run his mouth faster than anyone in town. You only wanted to play with his stupid key, make him beg for it back, hit him a few times, and call it a day. But, it was almost like he was determined to make everything go to hell for you, and even himself. You got clobbered a couple times, barely protecting your precious shades from his fists. Shortly after you managed to get the shit off of you, the wind blew out of nowhere and his key is now MIA. So, you somehow were manipulated into some ultimate debt that made you basically babysit him until his dad got home or something, you didn’t care, it ruined your entire afternoon. 

It was horseshit…No, Better yet, the guy was the DEFINITION of horseshit. He was on the level of being ‘centaurshit’ if anything.

The guy…(Karkat was his name?), literally crashed into your room moments after you told him to go away, and it took you ten minutes to finally throw him out back into the hall. You eventually had to resort in taking one of shelves and pushing it in front of the door after his many attempts to haul himself back inside. Like, didn’t you beat the guy enough? You fail to recognize where that energy came from.

Now, you had to go purchase another wire set for your turntables, because they somehow became damaged beyond repair. You also have the opportunity to add another scratch to your series of battle scars. You can see it now, your child asking about your injuries on your arm. You’d then tell them the story of…

The psycho shit, and his key.

 

Well, that guy said he was going to never leave his house until his dad installs a new door in a week or two. So in the end, he gets another stupid key anyways. He probably won’t be bothering you for a while thank god. But still, Good for him.

You head back into your room, so you could finally have the balls to tell your friend online about what you attempted to pull yesterday, but then you heard loud knocks at the door. Fuck, why was everyone knocking on your door lately? You briefly look at the digital clock on the counter. It was 3:43. Bro was gone for a week or so, something about having some gigs that required him to stay over in a different area of the city for a few nights. Who would want to bother you at this hour? Maybe...the news got out and a puppet thief were after your brother’s sweet collection! You ready to swipe your sword out of your strife specibus with extreme caution.

Nah, Maybe it was just a delivery guy who got the wrong address. No worries, you’ll be sure to make this guy feel as awkward as possible. If not, you decide to order pizza later and…you don’t know, make goat noises a little.

 

You open the door as quickly and urgently as possible to add shock to your ploy. But, as you open your mouth, you stop, and realize that ironically you were the one in shock. It was Karkat, looking internally annoyed as he was looking down at his own shoes, saying nothing. You slowly raise an eyebrow as you contemplate your urge to slam the door in his face if he didn’t say something in a few moments.

“Hey.” He mumbles, sounding conflicted. After a moment, he took a huge breath as if he was going to shout. Oh, it seemed to be just some drabble. “Look, for your sake, I’ll make this nice and quick so that so much information at once won’t hurt your nucleus sized brain. Basically my dad is an asshole dickshit and I’m going to be locked out of my house every day for the rest of my life, and by that for the next week or two. You are pretty much the only guy that won’t sue me for hurting you; and you and your obnoxious shades are the dick magnets that are completely and solely responsible for fucking every misfortune that has happened to me in my current hapless situation. If you're not getting that, then fuck you and what I’m fucking saying that this is your goddamn fault and you OWE me for fucking me over on multiple occasions. Let me tell you, _Strider_ , if I’m going to be screwed over, I’ll be DAMMED if I’m not dragging you to hell with me you 100 percent at fault, inconsiderate, fuckface son of a bitchwhale. So with that being said, now I am fucking COMMANDING YOU to…just, let me in for a few hours for the next couple of days...?”

Your beverage wasn’t sitting well in your stomach.


	5. Community Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was supposed to be one chapter
> 
> But it ended up being two chapters!
> 
> ehehehhehe :S
> 
> But also, thank you guys for the support !!!! (seriously im just sitting here like ajfhfaifaif;j)
> 
> The next chapter is should be out shortly..

“You’re name was Karkat, right? I’m Jessica!”

“Hi.”

“Hey Vantas, got a moment?”

“No.”

“Karkat, have you seen Michael around?”

“What in your fucking oblivious mind makes you think that I know who that is. God Dammit I don’t even know who you fucking are. Happy Searching.”

 

It was almost like the more you were trying to stay low, the more people seemed to be determined to annoy the fuck out of you. This was your third day at the youth club, and when you completely told off your supervisor on the first day (You’d be dammed if you’re going to pass out some decade old animal coloring book that the bitch probably found in the storage closet on a whim, to some fucking teenagers that you wanted nothing to do with.), you suddenly became the guy that everyone wanted talk too. 

 

When you were registered on your first day here, you were first sorted by age, then, sorted off to a group of kids of who they liked to call “teams”. There was team A, B, and so on. Fortunately for you, some guy who you admire managed to convince his parents that this was dumb as shit, and you landed in his place in Team D. There were about ten to fifteen kids here, and only a little majority knew something about not being a fucking asshole. 

The other majority of the group had a leader named Alex. The only reason why you couldn’t get that name out of your head is because he had a habit of TALKING IN THE MOTHERFUCKING THIRD PERSON. About five other kids would always follow him around, and every girl that you had the “luxury” of eavesdropping on, would not shut up about trying to ask him to hang out with them. After the short period, you quickly came to realize that that was probably never going to happen.

The most exciting thing that ever happened while you were at the place was when you actually left. If it wasn’t for ten other people wanting to leave as much as you did, you would’ve flown out of the place. Unfortunately, leaving the place was just as happy as you could ever get, because it was only when you sat on the bus when you realized that you weren’t even going home.

You don’t know how you did it, but somehow convinced your dad that you did not LOSE your key. You were actually getting to know your just SO AWESOME new neighbor down the hall. Your dad was pleasantly surprised, seeing you getting to get to know one of the neighbors, especially one that he had a rough start with. When Dave went to introduce himself (or really stood there as obnoxiously as you did the talking) on the first day of youth club, your dad was insistent to making the guy feel effectively welcome by his charm. It was a hilarious failure though, as Dave only replied with brief, impassive replies. Your dad was slightly annoyed, but didn’t say much about it. Hell if you cared though; as long as your dad wasn’t flipping out about a key you wouldn’t mind if your introduced Strider as a corpse. 

Your schedule after that became slightly more awkward after that. You tagged along with your dad at 12:00 when he had to work, and he dropped you off at the youth center. After that shit was done and over with, you supposed to head home via bus. But rather than heading home, you headed to Dave’s apartment instead, and you reside there until your dad gets home for him to unlock the door to your house.

The first two days hanging at Strider’s place wasn’t anything egregious though. You still weren’t allowed in his room, but you actually brought your laptop this time so he and his ridiculously large shelf could go fuck themselves. While he was isolated in his room, you had taken the liberty of storing your mountain dew in his fridge next to the pile of shuriken. It wasn’t the home experience…but this made it close enough.

 

But, that odd luxury had to wait. You only have been in the center for about ten seconds, and yes two to three people that you have never met in your life decided it was a great idea to associate with you. You evaded them, and headed to your assigned group room.

Since a new member arrived, and one that really has left your supervisor in an unhappy mood, the woman scheduled that our first activity was to have a group talk. When you entered the room, the supervisor and a few students were pulling the chairs that were previously on the walls into a giant circle in the middle of the room. You looked at the usual corner that you usually sat in, and gave your supervisor a death glare when you saw her pick up your chair and squeezed it in with the other chairs. She didn’t look exactly pleased to see you either, but she still smiled with her obnoxiously colored neon lipstick.

“Hello Karkat! C’mon, c’mon! Join the circle! Everyone else too! Fill in fill in. It’s time for group hooour!!” she boasted, motioning the kids on the wall to the seats. People sat down rather quickly, and all eyes were on you before you even grabbed a chair. You promptly scowl as you fling yourself into a chair, and begin pondering over every single death of each fucker in this classroom while they were giggling at you. 

“Alright everyone…” Your supervisor began, with a smug look on her face as she took her own seat, “Today is discussion time. For those who don’t know what that is, we tell each other about our current experiences, or for few the new students, we introduce ourselves and talk about our background. Any volunteers?” After pretending to examine the other kids her pale green eyes flashed on you. “Well then, since you are our newest member, Karkat Vantas, how about you tell us about yourself a little, other than the fact that you dislike coloring?”

 

The classrooms attention all came to you, and after a stare, you sigh and lean back into your seat. 

“Fine then. Well let’s see, names Karkat. Please, you don’t have to add the Vantas part because we all know we don’t want to sound like we have a stick up our ass.” 

“Hey-!”

“No-no-nope.” You cut off, “I’m not done yet. Anyways, before I was RUDELY FUCKING interrupted, I moved in a few weeks ago. Before I continue, to make things clear, in no way am I here by choice, and in no way am I fucking interested in making friends with any of you. And, “MISS,” Supervisor, by miss I mean college-dropout-bimbo-who-thinks-being-22-years-old-means-you-can-tell-a-bunch-of-teenagers- (half of them do not want to be here by the way)what-page-of-a-book –to-color-in, you can promptly go into the bathroom before we continue and go FUCK yourself, you crown stained toothed, horseshit tainted, horse haired, baggy clothed disgrace. Now with that out of the way, I’m also from Alternia City. That’s pretty much it.”

The class was dead silent, and suddenly everyone felt awkward as the Supervisor lip began to tremble. Seconds later, she stormed out of the classroom. You could hear her loud wailing down the hall.

“Hey, don’t you think that was a little too far?” A girl said from the side.

“Yeah, that was pretty cold…”

“Oh man, now we’re all going to get in trouble now, what were you thinking?”

A girl from a side, who had a whole bunch of piercings suddenly stood from her chair. “Oh give em a break, shit!” she shouted, “Alright Erin, no one fuckin’ asked for a social justice blogger in the club, thanks. Not a damn person wan’ to color in fuckin’ books either-“

“Um.” A girl sitting next to you interrupted. You just now noticed her ridiculous white hair dye. “I wanted to color in the coloring book.”

“Alex thinks you’re alone on that one Callie.” Alex said amusingly, and suddenly half of the classroom laughed. “Everyone was just going to draw penises on them anyways.”

“Whatever.” She said impassively, before grabbing one of the coloring books stacked on the the wall with a box of crayons. “While you guys have your happy group hour, I’ll be perfecting my art style.” 

“I say we tear up the rest of em books.” The girl with the piercings said, “Throw them out to the halls to make a public statement that we don’t give a fuck bout no colorin.”

“Meenah, that is so fucking dumb.” Social Justice Erin snapped. “Any that will get us into even more trouble. Shut the hell up.” 

“What you say? Girl I will FISH FRY you if say that again.”

“Alex thinks both of you need to calm your tits.”

“Shut, the hell up.”

The girl named Meenah gave a quick smile, and suddenly ten people were trying to hold the girl back from Erin, who was putting her hair in a ponytail. Half of the room screamed to hold her down; the other half was insisting that they let the crazy girl go. You and the other girl next to you on the other hand, promptly left your chairs, and stood back as the fight unfolded. 

“Great couple of days for you, I assume?” she asked impassively, not looking up from her coloring book.

You shrugged, “I just said I didn’t like fucking crayons.”

You caught her face fall into a frown as she switched to a dark red crayon. “No, you just took something and turned it into something it certainly didn’t need to be.” Did you just catch an accent? “This havoc might be normal for you, I get that. But if you’re forced to be here, don’t come here and force your chaotic and explosive behavior on everyone else and make someone cry over it. You’re being selfish.”

You huffed, slightly agitated now. “Okay lady, thanks for the advice. But unfortunately I cannot repay you in the fucks you wanted. I spent it on other things that I care about. Please! Take your advice back before it’s wasted on such a person who uses their fucks wisely.”

That now got her to look up, “Well, rude…” she trailed off, almost so suddenly that you had to see what was up. Her bright green eyes were staring at your…hair?

You start to become uncomfortable. “What the fuck are you looking at?”

“Is…is that Demi or Permenate?”

“What?”

“Your hair.”

You immediately scowled. “If I had any idea what you’re talking about, I’d know for certain that it’s none of your fucking business.”

She raised her eyebrow curiously, and gave a light smile before picking up a green. “Alright then. Just a friendly pointer…oh, you don’t have to pay any fucks this time; you might want to go retouch that soon...Or it won’t look as nice as your first try.”

“Hey-” You started off, before the two of you dodged a stack of coloring books, which indeed flew out the door behind you two. You hear the girl scream something about choking people with their own braid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calliope and Meenah were SORTA added in at the last minute, because I really like these two characters and, hehehe why not? This is kinda like a bonus chapter anyways XD


	6. Noise Complaint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd here's the next chapter.

GA: So You Indirectly Started A Conflict  
CG: YEAH,  
CG: I TOLD OFF MY SUPERVISOR AND THEN SHE RAN OUT CRYING LIKE A BITCH TEN SECONDS LATER  
CG: SOMEHOW A FIGHT BROKE OUT AFTERWARDS.  
CG: I’M NOT RESPONSIBLE  
GA: Im Pretty Sure I Can Easily Point My Index Finger Towards Your Direction Karkat  
GA: Even Though We Are Quite A Distance From Each Other.  
GA: Alternatively I Am Pointing At The Gray Text On Your Screen Which You Obviously Can’t See  
GA: I Am Telling You This So You Can Get The Full Experience Of Your Blame  
GA: I Didn’t Really Do That  
CG: IM RESPONSIBLE BECAUSE SOME GIRL WANTED TO THROW COLORING BOOKS OUT IN THE HALLWAY  
CG: IM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT’S HER PERSONAL OPINION  
GA: I Guess You’re Right  
GA: I’ll Leave It As “You Inspired Her On The Idea”  
CG: UGH, I DON’T EVEN FUCKING CARE.  
CG: SHE FUCKING CHOKED THE OTHER GIRL, WITH HER OWN HAIR!!!  
CG: SHE CAN BE EASILY INSPIRED BY ANY TYPE OF REASONING THAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH WHENEVER SHE FUCKING WANTS  
CG: AS LONG AS SHE IS FIFTY*FUCKING*FUCKZILLION FEET AWAY FROM ME.  
GA: Fair Enough  
GA: Speaking Of Ideas However, Me And The Others Have Been Setting Up Your Future Visits  
GA: Is It Acceptable For You To Come Back Any Time Soon  
CG: I JUST GOT HERE SO THERE’S NO WAY ASSDAD IS GOING TO LET ME GO ANYWHERE UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED WITH THE HOUSE  
CG: WHICH IS LIKE ESSENTIALLY NEVER BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY FOR ANYONE TO MAKE A GOOD SITUATION OUT OF THIS FUCKING DUMP  
CG: GIVE IT A FUCKING WEEK BEFORE THERE IS A HOLE IN MY APARTMENT, BECAUSE OF THE RIDICULOUSLY POINTLESS STATUES AND COUCHES THAT ARE GOING TO PILE UP IN THERE.  
CG: MY DAD WILL BE PRACTICALLY LAUNCHING ME OFF THE ROOF TO SAFETY WONDERING WHAT POSSIBLY WENT WRONG.  
GA: I Would Be More Than Happy To Help You and Your Father Place A Hole Through Your Home  
GA: Though I Would Need Assistance Bringing My Woodshop Materials With Me  
CG: KANAYA THE HOLE IS NOT INTENTIONAL  
GA: Oh  
GA: Maybe We Could Put A Ghastly Rug There Instead  
GA: And Yes I Am Partially Joking If You Were Wondering   
CG: GOOD.  
CG: NOW THAT STATEMENT TURNED FROM INSANELY RETARDED TO DISAPPOINTINGLY HILARIOUS.  
CG: YOU HAVE REDEEMED YOURSELF, KANAYFKSJF;AJF  
GA: ?  
GA: Karkat  
CG: FJSLFJLAFL SHIT  
CG: GOD DAMMIT SHIT FUCKING   
GA: Are You Okay  
CG: IM FINE IM FINE SHIT  
CG: JUST ONE OF THE FUCKING PUPPETS AGAIN  
CG: FELL FROM THE FUCKING SKY.  
GA: :?  
GA: (Every Time I Use That Face I Have An Urge To Inform Someone That You Cannot Make That Face In Reality)  
GA: (But Not Now)  
GA: I Didn’t Realize You Father Took An Interest In Puppets.   
CG: NO IM AT A FRIENDS HOUSE  
CG: NO FUCK, NOT A FRIEND  
CG: AN ACQUAINTANCE  
CG: THAT OWES ME A HUGE FUCKING DEBT  
CG: DIDN’T I TELL YOU THE ADVENTUROUS TALE ABOUT THE FUCKING KEY SHIT  
CG: AND HOW I BEAT SOMEONE SO TO A POINT THAT HE ACCIDENTLY THREW MY KEY OFF THE ROOF  
GA: So You Have Gotten Involved In Two Conflicts  
CG: NO BECAUSE BRAID AND FRIENDS DOES NOT COUNT  
GA: Partially  
CG: …  
CG: FINE  
CG: PARTIALLY  
CG: WITH NOTHING TO DO WITH ME  
GA: Fine  
GA: But Care To Elaborate On The Latter Tale  
CG: SURE WHY NOT I HAVE TIME  
CG: SEE WHAT HAPPENED WAS I LEFT MY KEY UNDER THE DOOR LIKE I DID RIGHT,  
Personalpesterlog has been transferred into a private memo in the board: don’t worry about iit  
CG: BUT THIS DOUCHE IN SHADESWAITWHAT THE FUCK?  
twinArmageddons [TA] began responding to memo  
CG: SOLLUX  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK  
CG: YOU CANT FUCKING DO THAT  
CG: YOU ****CANT*** FUCKING DO THAT  
CG: YOU SAID YOU CANT FUCKING HACK INTO ANY CHATS YOU FUCKER  
TA: ye2 the per2on who developed the memo2 2y2tem ha2 no iidea how to hack and tran2fer regular pe2terlog2  
TA: iim glad you beliived me the fiir2t tiime ii told you that kk  
CG: NO  
CG: NO  
CG: NO YOU CANT FUCKING DO THIS  
GA: Sollux Id Love To Congratulate You On Your Sucess But This Does Quite Piss Me Off  
CG: PRIVATE CHATS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING PRIVATE  
CG: THE FUCKING ROOT WORD IS PRIVATE YOU SON OF A BITCHSDHFSHFKLAJFAKJ  
CG: SKLGJALKJFAKLJFKLA  
CG: FLKJSLFKJASLJF  
TA: well ii wouldn’t have been 2o eager to u2e thii2 iin2ane power iif iit wa2nt for the fact that you have been iignoring my text2 for the la2t fuckiing hour  
CG: YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAVENT BEEN ANSWERING ANY OF YOUR SHIT  
CG: BECAUSE FU--FUCKING FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY.  
TA: well ii ju2t wanted two get your attentiion ii2 that a fuckiing crime  
TA: now ii know that iim not priioritiized iin your fuckiing two do lii2t becau2e..  
TA: ..becau2e..  
TA: you ju2t want to fuck me  
GA: May I Remind That  
GA: You Live Right Behind Me Sollux  
GA: I Suggest You Get Off The Memo Or Ill Turn Your Mainframe Into A Window Frame  
GA: I Mean Originally Private Chat Turned Memo  
TA: yeah forgot to remiind you that iim at tz’s place 2o have fun walking acro22 the neighborhood ka  
TA: but why ii made thii2 anyway2 kk tz want2 us to play skyriim together  
TA: iif you got your 2peaker2 then we can talk two  
CG: I THOUGHT YOU COULDN’T PLAY MULTIPLAYER IN THAT GAME?  
TA: there2 a new mod out 2o you can  
TA: 2o let2 wrap thii2 up okay  
CG: BUT IM TALKING TO FUCKING KANAYA YOU IGNORANT PRICK  
GA: Its Okay Karkat  
GA: Ill Be Happy To Listen To Your Story Later  
GA: Conveniently At This Time My Roleplaying Partner Just Logged On  
GA: And We Have A Lot Of  
GA: Um  
GA: Constructing To Work On In Terms Of Setting  
CG: THAT DOSENT SOUND SUSPICIOUS AT ALL  
CG: BUT WHATEVER  
CG: LATER THEN I GUESS.

TA closed memo

 

For some reason you have a starling urge after this to jam on your keyboard once again. How the fuck did Sollux manage to pull this one off? You couldn’t even hack into your own account let alone the entire system. And...wait, how long has he been doing this? The question did NOT sit well with you, just the thought of him seeing who you’ve talk to or just the thought of him knowing what you talked about sometimes…made you shudder. You were first to agree that some of the things past you has said would’ve been things that you would hide in the pits of log hell forever. You did NOT want Sollux to be agreeing with you.

It was hard getting that feeling of TERRIBLE INSECURITY out of your mind, but you manage pull your Skyrim game out of your modus anyways. Despite currently hating the bastard, you were quite curious about the new multiplayer mod that he was using. And with Terezi tagging along, she could make this experience not awful and show you how to join the Dark Brotherhood too. They sounded like they were the shit.

\---

“KK, you fucking idiot.”

“Karkat I have NEVER sensed such stupidity from you in my life.”

“FUCK YOU, THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO ATTACK YOU, TEREZI.”

“They JUST asked you join! And I was standing RIGHT next to you!”

“hahahahahaha-”

“Fuck you!” you yell, “I hope we run into a dragon, you shits.”

“Well the Dragon will CLEARLY be after you, because he knows that Sollux and I are in the brotherhood and YOU aren’t!”

“OR MAYBE, he’d know that you decided to join the fucking team that tried to EXECUTE YOU IN THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME.”

“Justice is Justice.”

“Actually KK hath a point; the right choice is kind of obviouth.”

“Wow Sollux, that smells like an OPINION and a desperate need for a shower!” 

It has been an hour, and you have been doing literally nothing but scream to your friends about finding yourself around this world. It was already hell meeting up with them, because Sollux thought it was hilarious that Terezi and himself spawned halfway across Skyrim. But now, apparently you just completely shot everything you were aiming for to the ground, and were freaking just as loudly as you have been, the entire time.

“Jethuth, calm down. Don’t worry you can just load your latht thave..” 

“IM USING FUCKING AUTOSAVE OH MY GOD ARRRUFMMMMFFF-”

“Karkles. Are you serious?”

“Kk you have been playing gameth thince you were in diaperth you know that is the dumbeth thing you could pothibly do.”

“Fuck, I wasn’t thinking about it okay?? Get off my fucking dick!”

“No thith ith bullthit you know you should thave liike twenty two fuckiing fileth.”

“Oh, what is that Sollux? Sorry for offending you because I’m not fulfilling your two fetishes.”

“At least I’m not rethulting to autothave, you fucking twat.”

“TWAT?? Where the fuck did you learn that word at, Eridan’s fanfiction?”

“At leatht he dothent autothave his shit that because apparently he isn’t a walking brain tumor.”

“WHAT WAS THAT YOU BITC-ACK”

“Hm? What wath that?”

His hands were warm, and so having them around your neck was definitely a shock. You were currently trying to collect your almost dropped laptop from the tip of your knees and your dangling headphones, wire wrapping around your shoulder. “What the fuck, Strider!” you yell, staring daggers inside the dark shades as he loomed over you. “God dammit, you better be lucky I didn’t break anything or I’d…what in the overworld of fuck are you doing.”

His hands left your neck, gliding from your shoulders to your torso. Instinctively, you try to push away, but the moment you do his soft touch firms, trapping to the back of the couch. Your laptop was tilting on your knees, hanging for dear life. One spaz out and say goodbye to your friends.

“Mmmm…” he said softly, hands retreating back to shoulders to massage them. “Seem a bit tense, bro.” 

“The fuck is it to…you…!?” Shit, if this guy is worth anything, this guy could make a living off of massages. If you weren’t totally freaked out, you’d actually enjoy the free shoulder rub. Instead, you were making distracted attempts to insist that you weren’t. “You have five seconds to get your clammy digits off of me before I break your shades and shove the shards in your eye owowowowMOTHERFUCKER.”

“Tense and still crushing on my sweet shades I see.” He said, sounding as if he was being observant. After a moment, he gave your shoulders one last squeeze before his presence completely disappeared again. You immediately took this opportunity to captchalogue your laptop. But before you could hop off the couch, you clashed with the others hand as he pushed you back to the couch again. “You definitely require a fucking thorough treatment.”

Oh hell no.

You immediately start flailing and shouted every single insult you could possibly think of, but Dave remained unfazed. You result to a frontal push, but he managed to catch both of your arms, raising them above your head. You resorted to kicking, but after a few connecting blows, he managed to settle on your lap. His weight pressed down on any opportunity of freedom you once had. You look up in shock, but your eyes blurred in rage after getting the look of that painfully smug expression on this fuckers face.

“Son of a bitch.” You gasp, squirming through the Dave’s death grip. “I hope this gives you time to pray, because I am going to fucking END YOU.” He didn’t reply, suddenly seeming deep in thought. “What, don’t know what to do next? What happened to _Mr. Professional_? This looks like someone’s first fucking week on the job.” You huff, “I bet you already spilt the drinks and your boss is already considering letting you go. Well don’t you worry; I’ll be the first one to make thousands of complaints to whoever runs this fucking facility. They’ll have to be an employee checkup when I’m fucking done with all the papers I’m going to fill out. You’ll be fucking demoted to organizing all of my complaints into 50 sections. And your life will turn into hell because I scribbled out the category so you’ll actually have to READ MY FUCKING CRITISIM TO YOU-“

His free hand went under your shirt, and your words turned into a gasping drabble. His hands moved slowly over your already warm skin, his touch burning you. “Shit...” You gasp, breath hitching. His nails ran drown your torso, and before something stupid came out of your mouth, you cut your tongue. No; there was no fucking way this guy was having the satisfaction of you actually enjoying this one fucking bit. He moved in closer, and you scowled as his hand ran across your waist. His breath was in your ear, and it was then you realized that you were beginning to heat up all over. 

You held your breath as he nibbled lightly on your ear; god damn it, thanks to Terezi that was a weak spot. In attempt to not react, you tense up, firm a rock. You hear a laugh, and you couldn’t help it, a garbled moan that was supposed to be insults and threats flew out. It didn’t make him laugh though, actually it almost completely stop, almost.

He was quiet, quiet enough for you to look over and realize he was staring at you. You panicked, oh god, what the fuck was WRONG with you. Now he’s just going to laugh at you, and hold this against you every single time you cross ways with him again. Your stomach fell; you wish you were anywhere else but here. Fuck, you really wished you just held on to your fucking key. He moved again, but rather than the retracting you expected, he only moved in closer, and began to whisper into your ear…and you didn’t think you heard him right. “What?” 

“Two hundred dollars.” Dave repeated, this time a little more clearly. “That’ll be two-hundred-dollars, plus state tax.” He must’ve realized that you looked like a deer in headlights, so he continued. “Though I am pretty fucking concerned about your illness and whatever, things like this doesn’t come cheap. Now, I’m pretty sure you don’t have that sort of dough on you, so I’m going to let you off with a first timer’s discount. But, there’s a catch.” He leaned forward, getting into your face. “Silence.”

“What are you-”

“Silence, as in shutting the fuck up.” Dave said, placing his fingers on your lips. “Hate to tell you, but screaming about your fucking game can be heard throughout the fucking floor. If you won’t give me the luxury of silence, you can pay off your tab by skedaddling to the door. Okay? Okay.” You felt his grip loosen but once he let go, he vanished. You heard a door open and close from the hallway behind you.

You sat there for a moment, going over everything that had just happened in the past five mintues. You felt your entire body heat up, But also, you realized you couldn’t see straight. You got up, and without another breath headed down the hall. Sollux and Terezi would have to wait this one out.

\--

TG: look egbert there is nothing wrong with the electric keyboard  
TG: you can play virtually any piano instrument you want and if it breaks you have the chance to throw it out your window without much issue  
EB: oh whatever  
EB: i just like the traditional style okay?  
EB: and with a REAL piano, you don’t have to worry about stuff like wires and batteries and stupid shit like that.  
EB: if I wanted to play  
EB: i’d PROBABLY be more focused playing than figuring out why the cord outlet is mixing with my computer wires. :/   
TG: yo my tables and my computers are practically married on the floor down here  
TG: and look at me im still one of the best djs in the fucking state  
TG: fly and top rate  
TG: eating fine steak  
TG: …  
TG: burgers  
EB: dave  
EB: that was as painful as it was hilarious.   
TG: painful and hilarious as your 50 year old broke piano set  
TG: oh shit sorry let me go get your outdated warranty and the icepacks  
EB: awwwwwwww dave!  
EB: who knew that you would be so concerned about one key breaking on an entire piano set?  
EB: even if you live completely across the country  
EB: i can always count on you to flip your shit when i mention it.  
EB: …or mention anything really!  
TG: hahaha very funny  
TG: but as your best bro  
TG: lets celebrate by making out in front of everything that is fucking wrong in your house  
TG: we can start with the fridge that still has that sandwich that you made like two weeks ago  
TG: why did you make it if you weren’t going to eat it john  
TG: thats fucking shameful i made it just for you  
EB: omg stop with your homoerotic insults!!  
TG: yeah and oh fucking my god dammit not again  
EB: ?  
TG: its the fucking shit im letting stay over  
TG: hes fucking screaming out of his mind again  
TG: does he know like half of the people on this floor need their beauty sleep at this time of day   
EG: isn’t it like four or five over where you’re at?  
TG: people go on the roof and sleep  
TG: they pray to the sun first  
TG: but seriously this has got to fucking stop like now  
EB: well do something about it?  
EB: just tell him to calm down  
EB: wait, isn’t that the guy who you said beat the shit out of you?  
TG: lets get one thing clear I beat the shit out of that guy  
TG: i gave that shit no mercy  
TG: strider treatment   
EB: how long is he staying there?  
TG: until they install a new door or something  
TG: calm down dude lets not get ahead of ourselves and lead us to believe that I care  
TG: i just want this guy out of this house  
TG: fuck i could probably pick up his loud ass from his own apartment anyways  
EB: well you did throw his key off a building?  
TG: who cares  
TG: wait no i didnt  
TG: it was the wind  
EB: riiiiiiiight  
TG: shit hes yelling louder kill me now   
EB: then tell him to shut up!  
TG: easier said than done i honestly want nothing to do with this guy right now  
TG: this guy is literally waiting for an opportunity to scream in my face  
TG: hes probably doing this on purpose just to lure me out  
EB: oooooo, he is a bit louder than you  
EB: what happened to Mr Macho Strider?  
EB: its your house your rules!!  
TG: hm  
TG: youre right sir  
TG: ill just glady tell him to shut the fuck up  
TG: but thats not going to be enough   
EB: :/  
TG: what if i mess with him a little  
TG: and then tell him to shut the fuck up before he screams no homo   
EB: hehehehe that would be gambit gold!  
EB: too bad you’re probably going to just throw a smuppet at him and tell him to shut up instead.  
EB: and then pretend to get something out of the fridge  
TG: you really think I wont do it  
EB: yes  
EB: even if I dared you, you’d totally chicken out  
EB: or well, boner out I guess.   
TG: dare me  
TG: i dare you  
EB: fine, I dare you too harass your houseguest without the use of a smuppet  
EB: if you win ill stop talking about movies for a week  
EB: okay?  
EB: okay.  
EB: …  
EB: dave?  
EB: …  
EB: oh god.  
EB: you’re not really going to do it aren’t you?  
EB: dave  
EB: dave??  
EB: daveeeeeeeeeeeeee  
EB: ….  
EB: …….  
EB: i guess ill go talk to rose  
TG: no its okay im back  
TG: i did it  
TG: the dare  
TG: no more fucking cage and maconohshit for the next fucking two weeks  
EB: lies!  
EB: you totally didn’t do it!  
TG: how do you know that Egbert  
TG: how can you tell that my hands aren’t hurting from the residue of his burning passionate skin while I type this  
EB: that makes this sound like more complete horseshit.  
TG: whatever you say  
TG: still seriously no cage shit for the next week  
TG: i don’t care about the other guy  
TG: because im sure im going to be isolated in my room for a while  
TG: because that guy was totally crushin on my sweet strides  
EB: still smelling the shit  
TG: i cursed myself john  
TG: im cursed of him totally wanting to mack on me every time i walk into the room  
TG: so don’t curse me anymore with your cages  
TG: shit  
TG: shit  
TG: shit  
TG: I forgot to put the shelf infront of the door  
EB: ???  
TG: fuck  
TG: Egbert exit out of theadalanfjahfnanfaiohfoanhfoai  
TG: chaawsdjaohutskfha4q242  
TG: kdf99SIOAF0AJF  
TG:94WFJJIAFJ90  
TG: 9F  
TG: ;;;SF --==--=-nn9  
TG:FFA9  
TG:SKFHSUFHSLKHF;AGG;A;G;A;G;HFY7CFXZK  
EB: ?????????????   
TG: HI MY NAME IS DAVE AND I FSAFJALFJAF  
TG: fuckAFIF’;a0a0f0  
TG:nfasffsfs  
EB: um  
TG: fjsgsgp99999AF00FFBITCH  
EB: I think ill go  
TG: gso  
TG: fhhfehf88843052  
TG:a fa9 a fafafa90’’;;[]\  
TG: yttyhgtfytrfg  
  
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

CANNOT SEND MESSAGE TO CHUM  
CANNOT SEND MESSAGE TO CHUM  
CANNOT SEND MESSAGE TO CHUM  
CANNOT SEND MESSAGE TO CHUM  
CANNOT SEND MESSAGE TO CHUM  



	7. Town Meeting

“If you fuck with my wires again I will throw you out the fucking window.”

“Fuck you and fuck your reasoning. You’re practically asking for them to get ripped when they’re not taped to the wall-ow ow ow ow ow ow! THAT’S CHEATING YOU FUCKER.”

Dave pinned you into an armlock, kicking away his shades to safety. “I wouldn’t be asking for a god damn thing if you didn’t fucking barge in here like a wild hyena!” He blinked. “Wait a fucking second, what the fuck to do mean by cheating? Do you think this a joke? Did you really come here and strangle me to the floor for the shits and giggles? And here I thought I didn’t think things through.”

“Well you must be on a fucking mission to dry hump kids that stay in your fucking apartment!” you retort, fighting him pulling your arm up your back. You kicked his shin from behind and pushed him to the ground, quickly spinning to try to pin him to the ground. “What’s wrong, Strider? Missed mating season?” 

You friends said you blush pretty easily, but this guy had you beat by a longshot. Too bad you couldn’t get a good look, because quickly afterwards a hand went straight for your chin, sensitive from its previous blow. You start cursing on point, but you didn’t give in quite yet. “You still didn’t answer my question you crazy fuck!” He gasped, trying to grab the arm that was holding him down as he began kicking furiously.

“And you haven’t answered mines!” you retort back, trying to grab ahold of the other hand that was dangerously finding its way to your sore jaw. “Without getting too much into your ear fetish, what the fuck is your problem?!”

“My problem? What the fuck is YOURS?” the blonde snapped, grabbing the hand and flung it out the way, red eyes glaring you down. “It’s fucking day three in my journal, all the recordings I’ve made have so far are something about you deciding that you’re dying and have to tell the world about it though OBNOXIOUS SCREAMING.”

You opened your mouth, making some garbled mess of sounds. “So you thought the best way was to fucking straddle me?! Tell me, is this house rules? If you don’t use your inside voices, you get harassed? What’s offense two then? Well I’m just absolutely sorry Dave, but you know the rules! Don’t worry; I’ll make sure I don’t bite off your dick this time.”

“That’s it-” Dave threw his weight against you, making you back into his computer chair. He flung himself at you, and you clasped a hand around his fist before it made its way to your face. “You have ordered another round of Strider ass whooping, and I was nice to give it to you via express!”

“Fucker!” You shout, kicking him in the gut. “Sorry I already tried one of your other products and my ear is still dripping in your acidic saliva!”

Dave grimaced, both at the new pain in his gut and the comeback. “Shit…you mentioned it like ten times already, I was right, you totally liked it.”

Now that made you blush, solely because you didn’t lie as fast as you should have. “Oh so now you’re lying to make yourself feel better that you licked my ear off? I’m fucking sorry that you couldn’t reach my standards.” 

“So, you have ear licking standards now?”

Shit. “It was a FUCKING JOKE.” 

“So was the red flagging cheating bullshit? Barging into my room and attacking me must’ve been a part of your act too.”

“You were the shitty pre-show-ACK.” Dave swiped you in the face connecting right to your cheek. “THAT WAS DIRTY, PIECE OF SHIT.”

You caught a smirk and fury escaped you as you began to taste blood. “Hey, I thought it was a pretty clean shot.” He replied, slowly raising his middle finger to your face.

You shouted a battle cry, before you lunged at him again. Dave’s smile left him quickly, as he dodged the first series of punches. Eventually his fists were hitting in your direction too. You both wrested of the ground, getting tangled in pulled out wires and trying to avoid broken CDs like the plague. 

Eventually, you managed to find an opening for a knockout blow, but withthe remaining energy you had, it was like slightly caressing his face with your knuckle. Dave had one fist in your hair, and another in the place of his last hit. But neither hurt, so he was just as tired of this as you are.

You both stared at each other, the only noise was you both gasping for breath. After the silent call of cutting it quits, you thought of how fucking stupid this was, and then you became really uncomfortable and flat out awkward. When was he going to let go of your hair? When were you going to pull back your fist?

Dave closed his eyes, and you almost thought that he was going to lean forward next. But instead he released his hand from your hair, and fell backwards. You briefly embraced a feeling of victory, but shortly afterwards you followed his move, giving out a tired roar. “I…fucking hate you, you know that. I just want you to know that that I absolutely detest you and everything you have the heart to stand for.”

You heard a tired grunt. “Thanks for the _clarification._ This is fucking news to me bro. Better get my ass up and go talk to the fucking editorial and submit shit in the Opinions Column. I’ll name it…‘I’m completely shocked that this guy who enjoys ear sex dislikes me. Funny he says that, since I fucking hate his guts too. I mean what a fucking coincidence! I’d like to also have a shout out to-”

“Shut...” You cut off, fighting the agitation in your stomach. “Just shut the fuck up, you goddamn tool.”

That only made him ramble on with his dead metaphor more, but you weren’t going to put up with this shit. “No, I’m serious.” You say, finding some energy to make you sit up. “I have already pretty much had a shitty day, alright? All I wanted to fucking do is forget about some girl almost choking someone to death with her fucking hair and heal myself from consistent scolding from people I don’t fucking know. You want to know something else? They fucking called my dad, as if I’m six fucking years old and I flipped the obnoxiously large desks filled of coloring books and crayons-“

“Woah woah timeout.” Dave interrupted. “You’re not making sense, but you said someone choked someone with their own braid?”

“Yes. Someone actually did that.”

Dave whistled, and you fell on your back again. “You’re talking about that youth club thing, right?” he asked, “Isn’t that the building with the huge ass field that has no reason to be inside of a city?”

“Ha! You actually went there?”

“When I was a kid. Bro couldn’t take care of me during the day so I landed in there. The trend was older kids always were fucking psycho because they’ve either been there for their entire life and hated it, or they come, cause some huge problem, and go. Bro took me out because there was this one kid in my group that kept following us back home and threatening to kill me and shit. I could’ve taken him though, crazy fucker.”

So the violence wasn’t out of the norm. “You probably would fit right in.” You thought out loud.

“I always went with my pointy shades, with a different colored smuppet every day.”

“Oh my god, you really fucking wore those pointy fucking shades your stupid brother wears? What the fuck is up with that?”

“Since I was born bro. Strider code. These shades you’ve been after are actually a gift from a friend.” He paused, “Hm, maybe if I mentioned that, you would probably stop aiming for them…”

You were silent for a moment, feeling slightly like an asshole now. You quickly get over it though. “If you thought that would make me regret anything I did, remember your friend gave you those shitty Ben Stiller special knockoffs that make you look like an underage old timer douchebag. You have terrible friends.”

“Better than the easily angered neighbor that uses his cane to bang on the walls while I’m having sex with an underage girl.”

“Holy shit you’re fucking weird.”

“You’re not that far off either, bro.”

You really weren’t. “…Fuck off.”

He laughed, but after that it was pretty much silence. You felt awkward, awkward for actually having a decent conversation with this guy, but also for not talking to him either. Shifting even became uncomfortable, though Strider did it anyways. He sat up, and crawled his way to his shades, carefully placing them on. Then he has the nerve to crawl his way next to you, and lies down. You side eye him in suspicion, giving him the silent ‘fuck off’.

“So…” Strider asks, ignoring the expression anyways, “Tell me more about the braid choking thing.” 

\--

 

Splashing water on your face is never a good idea.

Of course you would’ve found this out the moment you did this, and you didn’t acknowledge this fact until your cheek and jaw stung on impact. You understood the dirty punch from today, but your jaw must’ve been really fucked up since it still was sore. Good thing neither left a bruise; your dad would’ve flipped his shit. Just the thought made you grimace. But, the scenario erased from your head as you thought something that hurt even more. It was the pain…of….

…Of awkward.

Afterwards, you and Dave actually…talked. Sure you were constantly insulting each other, but they weren’t fighting words. It was weird; you felt like you were giving peace talks rather than taking the capitol by force. The worst thing was, is that you actually enjoyed talking to the guy! 

You both had a lot to ramble about. Of course, you enlightened him of the girl with apparent Braidkind, and Dave said he might’ve met her once. She really didn’t look like the type who has been at the youth club for such a long time. You guess she was just as fed up with coloring as you were. He interjected with questions and told some of his adventures’ with him and his bro, and-damn you- actually laughed at a story or two. You discovered that he liked to rap, and promptly informed him to shut the fuck up before he even gotten to the second verse.

When you dad came home, you both realized that for once you guys had an decent and enlightening conversation, which only made you wave quickly and walk faster than normal. You heard Dave’s door slam, as if he was trying to keep out the monsters. Even while your dad was flipping out about the youth club shit, you were a lot more tuned out than usual. The situation seemed so unrealistic it was almost terrifying. 

You pat your cheek. Maybe you weren’t used getting along with people you hardly knew. You always had friends, sure you fucking hated them sometimes, but they were still your friends since birth. You never had to actually put an effort into making any friends. You specifically didn’t befriend guys that invited you to the roof for battle or friends that straddle you whenever the fuck they felt the need to. You already have stupid friends like those. Well maybe minus the fighting on the roof, Alternia was more of a suburb than a city, unless there was a school building or something…Oh shit god dammit.

You stared at your hand, stained black after running your fingers through your hair. Dammit, already? You swore that this would stay in for another month or two. What did you do last time? The products conditioner and the actual stuff…oh wait no; you became the only person in the world that has gotten ripped off and didn’t get the conditioner that was promised on the fucking box, you used some of your shitty shampoo instead. It sort of worked, but your hand said otherwise. You probably should retouch it again, maybe in a week or two when your dad gave you some spending cash.

You briefly recalled the girl from the youth club. With her completely flawless white (why the fuck did it have to be white) hair, she of course would catch a shitty job on first sight. Hell, giving it a good look now, you should lock yourself in your house for how unbelievably shitty this dye job was. Maybe one day you could ask her for some tips? Ha! Like hell you were actually going to admit that you failed at doing something trivial of keeping your hair in check. You get a wet comb and you didn’t see anything more out of the ordinary, and you thought your hair couldn’t get any fucking weirder. 

You clean up your mess, take off your contacts and leave the bathroom, attempting to push the crisis to the back of your mind. 

You kept telling yourself that you’d be fine, and the thought of you ditching Terezi and Sollux earlier made you forget about it altogether. 

 

\--

You are Dave Strider and…..What the fuck is this shit on your hand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mystery deepens...


	8. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I keep forgetting to mention this; in chapter six the Dave bashed Karkat's head into the keyboard was this
> 
> TG: gso
> 
> moment
> 
> Juuuust wanted to clarify.

Dave talked a lot.

No matter what you said, he always pulled a conversation or a metaphor into it. If the topic was about food, he managed to change the subject into something about fast food corporations in third world countries. If you mumbled something about your computer, he would manage to convert the conversation to something about traveling in light years or controlling time. A fucking yawn made him create raps about falling asleep and waking up on an entirely different planet.

The worst part is that you couldn’t determine whether or not this was nothing out of the norm, or if he was rambling on due to spite. You admit that you have been pretty paranoid. After taking comfort on Striders bed every day since the comfortation, you assumed it was some sort of payback for getting into his personal space. You didn’t care, for the most part he either sat at his computer chair anyways, typing frivolously away to his friends or coloring some shitty picture that did not catch your interest at all. Sometimes, he would play around with his turntables pulled against the wall, and zone out into his ‘musical utopia’, though he furiously complained when one of his wires fucked up and messed with the system. You enjoyed pretending that the dilemma had nothing to do with you, because it was clearly his fault, clearly. 

Sometimes you liked to examine his room, and every time you did you regretted it completely. You have already made it your life’s goal to CONSISTENTLY CRITICIZE the jars of dead organisms on Dave’s shelf. The first time you saw the fetus of…whatever the fuck that thing is, you were lucky Strider wasn’t in the room to see you flip the fuck out. 

Dave also claimed that he liked to be ironic, but he was wrong, he was downright obsessed with it. From the posters on his wall to the things he talked about, one thing in sight seemed perfectly in sync with his ironic standards. 

He also took a lot of pictures…of himself. You found fairly amusing since he called it superior photography. You zealously informed Strider that it only made him look like a huge douche, and stood up for this claim proudly for the next hour or so. Neither of your points came across to the other, but at least you both came up with a better idea of how dinosaurs reproduced. 

It has been a week, and though it was comfortable, today was the day that you no longer had to put up with Dave Strider’s bullshit any longer. Your dad was coming home early to supervise the new front door being installed for your apartment. You had no idea how he managed to convince the landlord to do this, but you didn’t care. With a new door, there was a new key, and a new chance to return to the peaceful freedom you once had. You contemplated on thanking Dave, thanking him for turning your last few weeks into the most cliché oxymoron in existence, the heaven from hell. 

The Youth Club went by pretty fast, despite Meenah returning from her ‘leave’. The other girl had to switch groups to keep away from Meenah. Tension ran high, since the braided hair girl didn’t seem in a great mood. You found out after overhearing a conversation that Erin actually pressed charges. The white haired girl was there, though she was completely dedicated to scribbling in her sketchbook and journals. The thought of asking her for hair tips crossed your mind, but you shot it down so fast that you deserved a fucking honor for it. You have been doing this for years, just because some girl noticed a shitty touch up didn’t mean it was any more of her business than any other person that you refused to acknowledge.

You dodge her and many other people desperate for your attention, and quickly return home. Your dad greeted you as you reached your floor and walked down the hall.

“How was youth club?” your dad asked, clearly more focused on the design of his new door than you. You voice your usual grunt, taking a look at the oak door that clearly stood out from the other doors on the hall. “Nothing worth talking about, as usual. Crazy one is back though.”

“Oh, good for her.” Your dad says without any emotion within that statement. “Stay away from her, though; she’s clearly nothing but trouble.” You grunt again, that’d be a lot easier if you didn’t go to the place altogether. Your dad does notice you staring at the door though, and a proud expression crosses his face. “It’s South American walnut. With an inner steel support and perfect spacing, we won’t have to worry about it breaking down. It was a little off budget, but it was on sale and I couldn’t let the opportunity get away.” 

As your dad says this, the carpenter walked out from the inside of the door. “Alright, so are you sure you wanted to keep the old doorknob? I’m sure we can find you a relatively cheap knob and add in the keys for free.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “No, no.” your dad rejected, “I’m already insanely off budget with the door, if I can keep the knob then that’d be easier on my part financially.” 

“I thought you’d say that, sir. So I already finished the inside knob for you. Give me a few moments to wrap this up.”

Your dad smiled at the carpenter as he began to work eagerly on the new door again, but you were practically screaming in your head. Fuck, why did everything have to come and relentlessly bite you in the ass? Why couldn’t this end up being a white lie and you would never have to worry about it again? No, this was clearly Kanaya’s doing, she was probably getting revenge for you moving. She made Vriska do her weird voodoo bullshit (that wasn’t actually bullshit, and indeed as REAL as she claimed) and now your luck is dried up, leaked out, in a drought. God damn those two. 

You thoughts were interrupted by your dad. “So, you want to take a shot at unlocking the door first?” Your dad asked eagerly.

You were fucked.

“I…don’t have my key on me though.” You start off, trying to make your voice not sound so damn shaky, “I was planning to go to Dave’s again, so I didn’t bother bringing my key with...me.” 

You looked up at your dad to make it look like you weren’t flat out lying to him, but it only made your nerves go on an all-time high. Your dad was still smiling, but his eyes were filled with suspicion, no, knowing. His body tensed, with his suspicion turning into rising anger. Of course your dad fucking knew, and if he didn’t, your terribly shitty lie was almost like a fucking Vegas sign screaming MY KEY ACCIDENTLY FELL OFF THE ROOF AFTER I FOUGHT MY NEW ACQUAINTANCE TO THE DEATH BECAUSE I INSULTED HIS SHADES. He was going to flip his shit, murder the carpenter, rip the door off the wall and smash you with it. He’ll bury your body as he rambled on about the safety of the house and responsibility. His new door will be all of your electronic equipment and your bones smelted into a big ass rectangle.

You felt sweat accumulate on the back of your neck, but you still kept nonchalant eye contact with your dad. You felt like a goddamn man doing so too.

“…Alright.” Your dad finally said, sounding a bit breathless as he got the carpenters attention. “Hey, could you let him in to go grab his door key?” the carpenter nodded, opening the door to your apartment and you immediately walked inside, as if you were going to break into a fucking sprint. When he closed the door behind you, you silently flipped the fuck out.

Now what were you going to do? It was you either got murdered now or later. Maybe you could lock them out and live here for the rest of your days? But your dad had his own key, and there was a locksmith outside working on the door as you spoke. You tried to think of other ridiculous scenarios, but in the end you realized that they were all fucking stupid. You then realized that this was fucking stupid.

You are Karkat fucking Vantas, and you are way too fucking too old for this denying your certain death thing. Fuck your dad, and fuck his door, and fuck that stupid key that decided it wanted to grow wings. You were going to go out there, tell him what happened, and give him the finger and watch him chop it off, like the badass you are. With these thoughts, you walk towards the door and reach for the doorknob…

And realize how much of a fucking bitch you are.

You turn around, almost screeching in shame, before you realize there was large figure in your window.

Your jaw drops, seeing the light beam off the shades that you hate so much as Dave lightly taps on the window. How…could you even do that? No, he can’t fucking do that! You were pretty sure there was no fucking princess balcony in any of your windows for Prince Assface to be appearing out of nowhere on. In fact, you wanted to sit and watch as he lost his grip and fell forty floors to his doom.

Dave unfortunately, looked like he was in a rather comfortable position, and raised an eyebrow as you stood there again, tapping on the windowpane louder. You cautiously walk over, and gave him a good baffled stare before you opened the window to let him in. He darted in rather quickly to your amusement, but you immediately flipped your shit when a sword dashed past you back into his strife card. 

“What the fuck? How the who? _Why the fuck?_ ” You hiss in a whisper, watching him examine the living room as if he was strolling through the park. “You…we both, have ten fucking seconds to explain why the fuck you’re here or I’ll fucking murder you and I’ll get murdered too. And…Did you stab a sword through the window? That better not fucking left a mark! What the fuck were you doing on the side of my fucking window anyways, oh I totally forgot, you have this daredevil horseshit persona going on or something-”

“Nice place you got here.” Dave interrupted quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he examined your oddly perfect white floor. You realized that this was the first time he actually has been in your place. “Can you even do this to your floor without the landlord bitching about it?”

You stared at him as if he had a bomb tied to his head. “Rather than brooding on something that isn’t your fucking business, could you please tell me what the fuck that has to do with you ROOSTING ON MY WINDOW?? Better yet, maybe you could just explain you why you’re here in the first place? Look, I am officially done putting up with your bullshit and this extreme mailman shit is not going to fucking slide by-” 

“Hurry it up, Karkat!” Your dad shouted through the door, and you almost jumped out of your skin. You stared at the door for a long time, adjusting your breaths, and when you turned back to Dave you didn’t even bother scowl as he gave you an amused expression. 

“…My dad despite being a fucking asshole knows how to convince people to let him do whatever he wants.” You reply in defeat. “I might as well warn you about my father before I’m isolated and never heard from the world again. Now get out before he bangs the door down.”

Dave grunts, looking at one of your dad’s portraits on the wall. “Is that so? Fascinating.”

It was then that you began to grow suspicious of the blonde. This wasn’t some convenient timing; of course you could probably assume that the moment he appeared in your window but why the fuck would he decide he to pop in like fucking Robin Hood? It wasn’t for the ridiculously shitty portraits. “Alright you shit, why are you really here?”

“Hmmm.” Dave starts off, looking as if he was making up his mind. “Not much.”

“Then get the fuck out.”

“Of course, clearly you wanted no witnesses when your dad throws you out the window.” Dave agreed, “Now wait; I never agreed to be a victim either.”

“Dave pieceofshit Strider, I’ll throw you into the goddamn clouds if you do not get the fuck out of my house…” You trailed off, as Dave pulled a shiny small item from your pocket. Your eyes widen, feeling of doom and annoyance in seconds turn into some sloppy mess of shock, thrill, relief…and anger. Your jaw dropped, and you didn’t even register the widest, most _insufferable_ fucking grin you have seen from Dave yet. “…You…” You stammered out, and goddammit if you didn’t have the natural urge to punch him in the face you’d probably hug him. 

“Tripped over it last night.” Dave boasted, tossing the key in the air just like the day he took it those weeks ago. “It was sticking out from a crack on the sidewalk and it almost ruined my sweet kicks.” he tossed it over, and you, despite being completely in bliss, caught it as if it was nothing. “That shitty key has been nothing but a pain in the ass, so, hey, you can keep it since you might need it.”

“Dave…“ You heard your dad yell your name again, and realized that you didn’t even want to bother with insults and threats right now. “Fucking just get out!” you said, shooing him towards the window again, while he was trying to reach take his sword. You firmly shoved him out the window, and within seconds he vanished completely. You try to shove off the fact that you just threw someone out the window as you close it.

“Karkat, remember that we all have lives out here!” your dad shouted again, now knocking on the door. You stare at your key, and grip it firmly. You allow yourself a smile.

This was not leaving your fucking sight, ever. 

You open the door as your dad leans in to knock again, and you put on your signature frown. You muttered about impatience and locked the door on the inside. And like you were saving the world, you place the key inside the keyhole and wished Michael Bay was directing this so there could’ve been a satisfactory explosion behind you. You swing the door open, and looked at your dad, you looked almost relieved. He probably didn’t like the idea of you being brutally murdered either. 

“Well, looks like you got yourself a good door.” The locksmith cheered, crossing his arms along with your dad. Your dad was eyeing you, trying to figure you out, but enthusiastically agreed and began small talk about the origin of the door material. You stood there for a moment, before shrugging. You started to walk down the hall.

“Karkat? Where are you going?”

“To Dave’s.” you reply with a wave. 

You walk towards the end of the hall, and knock on the door as loudly as you could. Seconds later you see the door open with a quite amused, but confused Dave. “Oh c’mon Karkat, I was just purchasing my cruise and island getaway tickets.”

The two of you stared at each other for a long moment. You were pissed, you wanted to hit something, you wanted to hit him, and hell, you had no fucking idea why. Probably it was because he didn’t give back your key earlier, maybe it was because the key in the house made you run into misfortune after misfortune, and a guy who drove you up the fucking wall. He talked your ear off, dueled with you on the roof, discovered your ear fetish, boasted about dead things and shitty photography, and exploited your rage whenever he fucking felt like it. You wanted to watch him bleed and die, but no matter how you thought about it, you couldn’t deny it. You couldn’t deny that…you actually befriended the guy. 

_I think this is some form of irony._ You huff, shoving your new friend out of the way as you walk inside.

 

**END OF ACT TWO**


	9. More Change

“Do it, now!” the girl cried. 

You firmed your grip on Karkat shoulders, whose eyes widened in confusion. He attempted to turn around to see what she was up to, but you stopped him midway, grabbing his chin to make him see only you. But you knew he saw the cord plugged into the wall, since your ear was now ringing from his shriek of panic. 

“Karkat fuck, calm down!” You breathe, completely reconsidering this entire fiasco altogether. He brought this upon himself, why the hell did you have to babysit him into decisions he should be making on his own? “This is the only way to fix this shit, and you’re going to have to deal with it.”

“No, fuck you! FUCK YOU!!” he shouted as he was hitting you on the side and kicking himself to freedom. “If you don’t let me go right now I swear on my goddamn life I will make you choke on everything you eat, including the dirt seeping into your coffin when I fucking bury you alive-“

“Heh, I like this kid.” the other girl said, coming up from behind, stomping on Karkat’s kicking feet. She wrapped her arms around you and grabbed his flailing arms, easing the pain at your sides. “After this we should chill, and talk n’ shit.”

“Fuck you, too!”

“Okay…” the saner of the two guests sighed, as she slowly walked up to the couch. “I’m not very good with this to be honest, but I’ll try my best…”

“Alright, let’s get a move on then.” You snap, clutching Karkat’s head to keep him still. He was practically shrieking like a pig now. 

“IF YOU TOUCH ME, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-“

The girl behind you was howling in laughter, tightening her grip on your helpless friend. 

The white haired girl turned on the switch. Screams could be heard throughout the building. 

\--

It was the first time it rained since you’ve moved in Houston. Rain was pretty rare, so many in the youth group were under the assumption that this was the last time they were ever going to see it. Many got up from their Uno games and ran towards the window to see how bad it was, almost like a car accident. Everyone else, you included, was just waiting for it to go away again because they either didn’t give a shit, or were flipping out because they didn’t bring an umbrella.

Regardless, when it was time to go, you were still the first to leave the room as usual. You had better things to do, like continue to humiliate Strider in every video game you owned. Though it was more of you just introducing most of your games to him, there was nothing more satisfying than watching him struggle at whatever game you threw at him…excluding Mario Kart. You had no fucking idea how he collected blue shells so quickly.

You snapped from your thoughts as thundered roared from the building, and many people heading out were slowing their pace. You noticed people stopping, but that only made you speed up. Bad weather or not, you rather not stick around.

You attempt to open the door, but then someone grabbed your shoulder as you pulled half way. You scowl expecting it to be one of the stupid supervisors but no, it was the white haired girl. She looked somewhat breathless, as if she was trying to chase after you. Your scowl softened, but not your glare. “What?”

“That’s not a good idea.” She huffed, letting go of your shoulder. “I looked at the rain out there. It looks kind of weird. In a few minutes the supervisors are going to lock us in anyways, you should probably stay until it dies down a little.”

“Well, I better get going then....” You snap, opening the door examining the rain for yourself. What was wrong with it? Sure the sky looked kind of funny, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. You put on your hood. “Don’t exactly want to stick around. See you.”

You hear her shout in protest, but soon enough the rain was the only thing you heard as you bolted for the shelter of the bus stop. Minutes after jetting off, the damn wind blew as hard as it could. Shit, you were pretty much soaked now, but you still fumble to put your hoodie back on anyways. You fortunately caught the bus before the rain got really heavy, you couldn’t even see outside the bus windows when you finally sat down.

Haha! You really beat the storm! You felt proud and relieved. The bus was empty from any of the obnoxious people that took the same bus as you, which made this even better. Sure you wished you be a little bit drier, but hey that’s what towels were for. And they probably didn’t have towels at shitty recreational centers. 

You reach you’re building on time, sprinting for the doors as if your life depended on it. You pass by one of your neighbors as you walk inside, but gave them nothing more than a glance before you traveled up the ridiculous flight of stairs. You pace yourself, not breaking much of a sweat since you climb them regularly now. You find yourself at the top of the stairs in no time.

Rather than reaching for the key on your new necklace now, you stroll down the hallway to the end of the hall, and whack your hand on Dave Strider’s door as hard as you could manage. After a few steps walking down the hallway, you hear his door creak open and close, then footsteps behind you.

“I thought we were having a sleepover at my place today.” Dave pouted, “I had the candles ready and everything.”

You roll your eyes. Fuck him and the endless time he wasted creating silly jokes like this. “Great to know that you were preparing for the worst sleepover ever. But as you clearly cannot see, I’m fucking soaked. I’m going to change, you can pick out the games I’ll annihilate you in today I guess.”

“Not much of a selection, bro.” Dave huffed, “Since your ass is mine in every game we’ve ever played…” Dave suddenly gone silent as you reached your place. “…Whoa.”

You glare at him as you take your key off your neck. He pulled up his shades to get a better look, and that made you turn the other direction of his sight immediately, because fuck if he had to get a better look something was up. You turn around, but everything seemed fine. “What? What the fuck are you looking at?” you demand, before you realize that he’s actually looking at you.

“Holy fuck.” Dave whispered, which really did throw you off. “Your hair is turning fucking white.” 

You raise an eyebrow as you slowly ran a hand through your hair. “What the fuck are you shitting about Strider? If this is one of your shit jokes then clearly I don’t need to tell you this trick isn’t any funnier than your previous ones….” 

You scream.

Your hand was pitch fucking black, water and dye running through your already wet fingers. You feel a heavy substance run down your nose, which only made you more terrified, Dave even more baffled. You fumbled with your (also stained) key and slammed the door open, sprinting straight for the bathroom, Dave following close behind.

You choke out a sob as you stared at your mirror for the first time. The top of your head was almost white, stained with the previous dye that didn’t leave your hair yet. It seemed like the color of your hair was melting, running down your neck an on your clothes, and it only got worse by the second. 

You turn on the shower, and after taking off your favorite (now stained, FUCK!) jacket, hurl yourself into the stall. You realize that this was a terrible idea, as the dye falling from your hair ran down your body, clothes, shoes, and into the shower drain. Some got into your eyes, staining your contacts too. Once it didn’t seem all too bad though, you collapse and start cursing nonstop to let out your pure frustration. How the fuck did this happen? Was this even fucking possible?! You read the fucking box inside out and NOTHING like this was a fucking warning. Once again, any sanity you could’ve possibly had in your life was dipped into a deep fryer, and served to you on a broken plate. And the only thing you could fucking do about it was sit and watch effort and your fucking sanity run down the drain. 

“So…what is up with…this.” 

You snap around in shock, completely forgetting Dave was even here. He strolled inside the bathroom, attempting to get a better look at the disaster. 

“Get the fuck out.” You say lowly glaring in his direction. You didn’t get a response; and your temper rose drastically. He was judging you, laughing at how much of a pathetic load of horseshit you really are. He was probably thinking of a rap and a beat, creating a song of how painfully obvious of an anomaly you were. The thought of that made you completely lose it. 

“OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!” you shriek, almost slipping as you try to stand. “For fucking once get lost and out of my life you fucking shit-” you slip once again, and _of fucking course_ , you landed face first into Dave’s chest.

“Shit Karkat, calm your tits-!”

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME-!” you gasp, giving him a hard shove back. The force made you slide back. You fall, hitting your head on god knows what, something hard. You only heard Dave’s cursing in panic as everything went black.

\---

When you came to, you were surprisingly dry. You wanted to admit you were comfortable, but then you realized that moving around was actually a chore. Your eyes felt unnaturally dry, so opening then seemed to be completely out of the question. You opened them anyways.

You first noticed black clouds affecting your vision, and quickly concluded that you were probably going insane; but shortly after you realized that your now ruined contacts were still in. You manage to recognize the ceiling of the living room, and concluded that Dave managed to drag you from your bathroom into here. After trying to move around, you began to wonder what _else_ he did. 

You try to look down, only to see yourself wrapped in your bedspread like a cocoon. You felt terrycloth, so you assumed that towels were somewhere here as well. Your hair was half wrapped with smaller towels, and worst of all your feet were left out to the cold.

“I see you are awake.” You hear Dave say, and you squirm around to see him shamelessly playing one of your games.

Rather than pointing this out, you just let out an agitated grunt, attempting to fumble out of the cocoon you were trapped in. “I thought I told you to get lost.”

“Not the easiest thing to do when a bro falls into his own puddle.” He simply replied. The blond stopped the game, looking back with a smug, but partially concerned, expression. “You hit your head pretty damn hard. Don’t worry man; though it wasn’t all that graceful I’ll still give it a six.”

“More like a negative ten and Dave shutting the fuck up bonus.” You insult naturally, fumbling around even more. “God damn, where the fuck did you get all of these towels anyways…SHIT.” You fall face first on the floor. 

“Found them.” He answers between sniggers, and before you stand up and finally unleash your fury, he pointed towards your….what the fuck. “I couldn’t find everything though.”

“YOU…” You say in a dangerously low; warm as ever as you wrap the nearest towel over your waist. “You.”

“Oh Damn, swore you wouldn’t appreciate being left in damp clothes. My fault.”

“I’d appreciate it if I had on some fucking pants though!” You shot back, storming down the hall to your room, and lucky you, it only took two glances at your cramped closet to see a clean pair of boxer shorts. After quickly throwing them on, you walked towards the bathroom.

Not a lot changed from where you last remembered it, other than a trail of black stains that traveled across the bathroom. There was something that did though, you.

Your hair was a disgusting light tan, with dry remains attached to your now clumps of hair. Your roots did have hints of the bright red hair hue you deeply detested, but it was nothing compared to the disaster that had your full attention. You took off your contacts, threw them away, and attempted to wash your eyes out a little. You kind of wished you would wash out that obnoxious, disgusting green color from your irises along with it.

You tried to think, was there any solution to this mess other than dyeing it again? You threw your last kit out before you left Alternia, plus who the fuck knows what would happen if you put that shit in your hair again. There had to be something to get out of this mess….

Wait.

Well, that was fast in terms of finding a solution. 

You flew out of living room, and slid beside Dave as he was trying to work his way through some difficult level. He almost jumped, possibly still terrified from your new look.

“Shit Karkat, At least give me a warning before you show up looking like a goddamn frost giant-”

“Dave shut the fuck up for a second and listen to me.” You say without missing a beat. “Look, you probably stopped giving a shit about my hair when I was in hysterics-“

“Yes, yes I did.”

“But, I have good news! There might be hope yet, but I’m going to need your help.”

\--

Strider’s don’t run fucking errands.

Striders absolutely don’t do favors, requests, or make any fucking wishes come true for anyone. The only person that a Strider helped out was another Strider. 

Okay, there may have been some exceptions in your case…since you always were the first to volunteer when your friends asked for help, or old people…or anyone but Vantas. Alright, Pre-Gintoki Vantas. 

You were definitely helping out your friend with this, but you were going to make sure that you tell him that you were just having the worst time ever. It was damp, and with the insane daily heat that followed after, you were definitely not blending in with the piss poor humidity everywhere. Not only that, you were at the place you swore to never lay eyes on again. 

The recreational center wasn’t that bad honestly; you had fun the few years you actually went there. It actually can be considered a nice place if it didn’t have natural attraction to psychopath children. You kept a low profile, sitting in a coffee shop across the street from their now opening doors. You definitely didn’t need unwanted attention.

Fuck, finding a girl with bright white hair shouldn’t be that hard, right? You probably should’ve listened to Karkat when he mentioned some other stuff- wait a fucking second, fuck that!! If he wanted to get into fucking detail he would’ve manned up and came to this fucking place himself! That asshole was acting as if he caught the worst of the flu when you suggested to go finding this girl himself. Hell, with his white hair, they both could start a trend and it’d be the best fucking thing ever. _But noooo_. Let’s just take the guy he’s been shouting at for the past week and had the absolute pleasure of seeing his fucking junk and have him find a girl who has hair apparently brighter than his! Horseshit. 

You eyed the crowd of people walking inside the building; surprisingly they all looked fairly normal to you. You were almost about to just go back home and tell Karkat that there was nothing to be found at the scene, but then a obnoxiously large dark green truck pulled up in front of the building.

The door immediately flew open the moment the car came to a stop and a boy with light brown hair dashed out as if he realized there was a bomb in the car. Oddly, he caught no attention from the people that he almost shoved out of the way as he stormed inside. You were so satisfied by seeing an odd one from the group; you almost didn’t notice a girl of white hair come out of the car as well. Bingo.

She exited almost gracefully, despite the moment she closed the door the car sped off into oblivion. She looked fairly normal, with a black jacket and a bright colored shirt. She wore a jean skirt with stripped leggings, one of the two colors it contained matching her shirt. She looked like a girl of temporary fashion, but you also noted that she was also walking in a little rush, but that was okay, you were already out the door.

You tried to blend in with the crowd, but immediately after you walked on the grounds you were getting attention from the people around you. You assumed it was because you were unfamiliar, a stranger. It was almost like seeing a new kid at school. You noticed that the girl wasn’t the one to see what the ruckus was about, which only made it difficult for you to actually catch up to her pace. When you did, you wrapped and arm around her neck, matching her pace with yours, and turned your direction backwards from the door. You both were walking out to the street.

You almost wanted to laugh at how dazed she looked as she stared at you in alarm, but this was business now. “Hello ma’am, I’d just noticed your lovely hairdo from a view, and thought that I stroll and talk to you.”

You expected a baffled reaction, a shove, or at least an eyebrow raise. What you got was a blank stare. If anything, she looked actually fascinated. You probably should’ve assumed this reaction after guiding her right out of the door without much trouble. 

“Er…Could you give me a conversation starter?” she asked with a slightly smug expression. “As in why you’re going to make me stand out here, for one.” You had a feeling that she is probably used to random encounters such as these.

“Well, thought that your polar hair sparked a few topics. Guess I was wrong.” You reply smoothly, taking a step back from the girl as she folded her arms. “Just wanted to meet someone who’s clearly a professional.”

Her light smile turned into a frown. “Who implied I did this on my own? Though, not many people can pull this off, no one said I was a prodigy or anything, though I kind of am in my own right but…” she trailed off, now getting a get look at you. “…I think you’d be better off with your natural color.”

You smirked. “A lot of people usually are, me one of them. Don’t worry, I’ll let you have your chance to show off your magnificent abilities. If Karkat’s asking for you I’m almost positive that you’re some sort of god or something-”

“ _Karkat_ asked for me?” she repeated, looking shocked. “Is he alright? Or is his…” You shook your head, and she bit her lip in concern. “Yesterday on the news, they reported a lot of sulfuric acid in the clouds, causing a lot of acid rain. We found out after it died down though, Karkat ran right in the middle of it.”

“Well that makes a lot more sense.” You thought out loud, recalling the fiasco yesterday. “And now, he needs your help with it. He won’t even leave his house, despite his dad flipping out about it.”

“I’d love to help. But I can’t just drop what I’m doing and go fix someone’s hair.”

“Sure you can. One day from a recreational center can’t kill you.”

She uncomfortably shifted. “…It’s a lot more complicated than you think it is.”

“Bullshit.” you both turn around, and white haired female almost grimaced. Another girl, with baggy clothes and a lot of piercings, came strolling from behind a damp looking tree. She had an unsettling smirk that made you raise your guard. “Cal-Cal, you ain’t still rockin’ your pretty self over your ass-shit brother are you?”

The girls eyes narrowed, you however, almost jumped out of your skin at the name as an image of a _very_ familiar puppet came to mind. “Meenah, though my brother is indeed a twat, I’d appreciate it if our little feud wasn’t as openly insulted as many people think it is.” She sighed, “It’s more complex than any sort of plan that ever possibly crossed your mind. I’d like for it to be respected.” 

Meenah’s smile widened. “Oh please, if you can convince me that for the past ten years this hasn’t been some sort of competition on who gets to their rooms first then I’ll treat ya to Long John Silvers.” You raise an eyebrow as the white haired girl looked clearly annoyed now. This wasn’t looking very well.

“Now now, I aint here to be filleting.” Meenah yielded, holding up both of her hands in defeat. “If that catcar kid aint gonna be here, I wanna see what’s up. I need something out of the norm anyways…” 

You looked at the other girl, who was staring at you now, so you shrugged. “Sure, the more proclaimed people of experience the better.”

“Fuckin’ brilliant!” She cheered, speeding to you two, but before you could dodge out of the way, you were both caught under her arms. “We can totally take Shelly.”

“…Who…?”

“It’s my new car name.”

\--

When she meant new car name, she also probably meant that it was a new car altogether. You were foreign to the new car smell, and you actually had to take in how ridiculously fascinating the leather seats were. The only car Bro and you have was the small car bank in the kitchen that held all of the bus tokens. Getting a car was pretty pointless when you lived in the city. You assumed that Meenah, who could afford a Mercedes, would disagree.

With your flawless sense of direction and road wrath from its driver, you guys arrive to the apartment complex in no time. Meenah stored her car in her sylladex, and you led them to the 29th floor. You arrived at Karkats door, which notably was the only custom made walnut door on the hallway. You guys conversed about it for a moment, before you opened the door that Karkat purposely left unlocked.

He was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the TV screen playing a game. He was wrapped in a blanket; its purpose clearly for covering his hair. He immediately turned to look with a tired frown, but scowled immediately at you when he noticed Meenah waving zealously from the back. 

“What the fuck is she doing here?!” he shouted standing up, his blanket hilariously staying in place. “You only had ONE job to get ONE person!”

“Hey, she claimed to be a specialist.” You said with a shrug, “She works under the wing of prodigy beautician specialist…er…Cal…”

“Calliope.” She finishes without skipping a beat. “Most people shorten it to Calli.”

“And I’m her just as talented an aspirin’ student, Queen Meenah Pireixieth James tha’ fourth.” Meenah grinned. “Me and Calli swim in the same school!”

“Of course! Her braids of death would clearly be taken care of properly!” He snapped, giving you a side glare before his direction went on Calliope, who was standing in the background, staring at the blanket on his head. 

“Look…” You saw him shift awkwardly for a second as she stared him down. “I was pretty much a fucking dumb piece of shit when I didn’t listen to you yesterday. I was so fucking stupid that stupidity wants to shoot me in the chest of how remarkably retarded and ignorant I am. Once you fix my hair, I’m going to whack myself with fifty fucking umbrellas after I write common sense and ‘Karkat you are an idiot for listening to yourself because you already know you’re a piece of shit when it comes to making rational decisions’ on it. Hell, I’ll even give a bigger umbrella so you can hit me with it personally. Just fuck…I’m sorry.”

You pretended to sniffle, which got you a scowl from Karkat. Shit was just getting so emotional in here. Calli didn’t laugh, though she did smile a bit. Before Karkat could spit out insults though, she walked over and took off the blanket. Karkat’s face turned from rage to pure terror. Meenah on point started howling in laughter.

“Thought so, there are probably a lot more things to worry about than that.” She informed. “We all make mistakes. We’ll eventually grow from them. But…” she smiles “I really do appreciate the apology.” 

Callie sat Karkat down and got to business. With his comb, she intensely diagnosed his sickly looking hair. Meenah was more fascinated with how clumped it was, and wondering how she could get her hair in such a fashion. Within seconds though, she came to join you in a few rounds of Tekken, complaining alongside you of the shitty control adjustments Karkat insisted on keeping. Karkat sat quietly, mumbling things to Calliope when she asked him questions. 

“Alright…I think I might have a good way to fix this. Let me use the bathroom first, and then I’ll tell you what I can fix.” She then quickly scurried down the hall. You caught a look in her eye as she glanced at you on her way down the hall, and about a few minutes after, you left Meenah to her attempts to defeat Jin and followed her to the back. She was waiting for you outside of the bathroom door. She looked troubled.

“It’s pretty bad.” She started off almost in a whisper so the others wouldn’t hear in living room. Good thing Karkat was already shouting pointers out to Meenah. “I don’t even know what’s in his hair, but it’s completely…clogging to the roots or something. It’s impossible for his hair to grow back like this, even with a rinse. I don’t want to risk using any shampoo’s or conditioners either. He needs to go see a professional….A ‘professional’ professional.”

You were confused. “And you’re telling me this because…”

“Because there’s an easier way we can deal with the situation, and Karkat would flat out reject the latter as much as the former.”

“Which is?”

“Shaving him clean, then washing out the pores a few times.”

The imagery hit you hard, and you a laugh escaped you. You could have a field day with that if you didn’t already feel bad for the guy. You looked at Calliope, who looked downright serious. You honestly didn’t have anything witty to say then. “Tell me what I need to do.”

“Distract him and then hold him down.” She replied. “Do you know where he might keep a razor or something?” 

“I saw a pair of scissors yesterday...”

“That probably won’t be enough…” she looked through her modus, seeing and taking out a clipper. “We’ll just use my brothers. I’ll get hell for it, but it’ll have to do.” You didn’t ask about how or why she had that, but only nodded with a sigh.

“This is a perfect idea and nothing can possibly go wrong.” You mumble unenthusiastically, foreseeing every single event that was not going to be in your favor. Hell you might even have to add another bruise to the collection.

“I’m counting on you.” Calliope whispered, following you while hiding the clippers behind her back as you both returned to the living room.

Karkat and Meenah didn’t even notice the two of you walking back in, he was too busy yelling about what buttons to press, though Meenah insisted that she had a few combo’s of her own. Calliope scanned for an outlet, while you walked around the couch and blocked Karkat’s view from the TV.

“Move the fuck out of the way, Strider!” he immediately shouts as you were trying to think out a strategy. “I’m trying to tell this fucking retarded woman that her fish puns are nothing against my superior combat tricks.”

“Who cares, they pretty much suck like all of your other games.” you say without much thought, eyeing Calliope as she was plugging the clippers into an outlet she found behind one of the lamp stools.

Karkat stared at you, looking more confused than angry. You enjoyed how he tried to look for your eyes behind your shades. Sometimes he had a chance, but sometimes he didn’t. Regardless, it was usually followed by an infuriated smirk, never knowing of his success or failure. “Thanks for reminding me once again that you have a fucking shit-tastic awful when it comes to gaming! Now, please go smother yourself in your fucking ego and my Assassin’s Creed poster like you always do.”

“No, I’m dead serious, Karkat.” You say, playing the part as you lean down and grab for his shoulders. An instant look of suspicion hit his face, as he leaned into the back of the couch. Perfect. “All your games suck, you suck for even bothering to play these games. I mean look at that…Assassin’s…Seed shit or whatever. It’s completely unrealistic. ”

“Dave, I can’t even believe that in your head you thought that is in any way funny or fucking iron-“

“Shhhhhhhh.” You silence, holding your finger to his scowl, momentarily darting your eyes to Calliope who was slowly moving toward the target. You notice the game’s volume lowering; Meenah must have caught the drift too. You didn’t have to look to see that she indeed was grinning, like an idiot. Karkat’s however, had his full attention on you. “We all know it was just potential wasted on white lights!”

“Are you kidding me-“

“Do it, now!”

You quickly realize that this wasn’t worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this ended up a pretty long chapter. Well, longer than the usual anyways. 
> 
> Just in case i confused someone, The perspective order for each segment are Dave, Karkat, Karkat, Dave, Dave. Hopefully i didn't throw everyone off guard with all the sudden perspective changes in this chapter.


	10. House fire

You hated feeling cold.

You and the rest of your civilization were warm blooded mammals. Since you are indeed a part of an also intelligent and powerful species; you’d be dammed if you had to put up with the physical concept of shivering. You generally never have the problem of being cold; you always kept stock on hoodies, extra blankets, and of course, coffee and cocoa if when it was needed. But god dammit, no matter how prepared you were, how many hoods you wore, turbans you've created, or warm beverages you've chugged down, it still felt like someone was holding a ice machine and air conditioner to your fucking head.

Your hair was already beginning to grow back in; unfortunately, it only made your head itch more since you refused to take off your new trusty beanie to give your head any air. Looking in the mirror didn’t make you feel any better either; and with that was under the implication that you wanted to feel better at all. You’d rather feel like an absolute piece of shit and admit that you were just simply fucked, rather than try to stare up a hole you couldn’t climb out of.

Due to that, you haven’t left your house for a week, and not a fuck was given when your dad took away everything you owned since that conflicted with you attending the youth club. He isolated you, and made it a mission to block you from having any sort of communication with anyone he even suspected you wanted to talk to. You considered it a good move on your dad’s part; if you spoke to any of your friends at the moment you wouldn’t haven’t have a voice box left from all of your screaming. You thought you didn’t have one left when you threw Dave out.

Fuck, just thinking about that asshole made you want to raise puppies then feed them to sharks. How fucking DARE he assumes he had permission to let ANY of this shit happen? How DARE he knock you out when you were fighting for dear life? And worst fucking all, who in his fucking premature bad flagella sperm mind decided that it was smart to not leave when the other two girls left? 

You were already at your third strike when he just stared at you. Just the thought that he was planning to move on with life as if it never happened made you want to put him into a chokehold. But you felt weak, everything made you feel weak, just the sound of his voice just made you feel like collapsing into the huge fucking mess you were then. So instead, you decided to yell his fucking ear off.

He tried to explain things to you, on how this “had to happen”. NOTHING had to happen; you were just fucking fine with your shitty hair dye and throwing yourself into the shower. Fuck your stupid idea of asking someone you hardly knew for help; fuck them for not even THINKING about how you felt about this. They didn’t even try to understand, even if you knew they wouldn’t anyways. Calliope walked in not having a damn clue about how much pain this would cause. You successfully made it absolutely fucking crystal clear to Dave that this was his fault anyway, and shortly after he walked out, oblivious as ever. It was okay though, you didn’t expect him to get it.

You throw your beanie hat on your bed as you head for the bathroom. Though you pretty much wanted to ignore any suggestion Calliope wanted to give you at this given time, you still obeyed the written instructions she left behind. She told you to wash your hair every day, but the hell if you were going to trust her judgment. You were pouring water on your head as often as you felt the need to, which was really every other hour. 

You tried not to look in the mirror before or after you rinse your hair in the sink. You hated looking at the obnoxious red sprouting from your head like a deformed area of grass. It reminded you that you were going to be a sickening sight to yourself and everyone that ever could even manage a fucking glance in your direction.

You realized that you were beginning to become relentless and wrap things up, quickly walking out after grabbing a towel and your glasses. Your ruined contacts were unfortunately your last pair, so now you had to deal with your dads personal favorite “Large-and-obnoxious-as-fuck-wear-it-when-all-else-fails” oculars for the week. You knew your dad hated them as much as you did, since he always was perfectly stocked on HIS contacts. You haven’t seen him wear glasses in years. Motherfucker.

You walk into the living room and flopped on the couch, suddenly running that phrase in your mind in Gamzee’s voice. Even though you were pretending that you didn’t need anyone to socialize with, you would kill to have a nice chat with the douchebag right about now. Just calling him out on how terrible person he was soothed you. How he unintentionally made you rethink about decisions in you’ve made in your life always made your day. Gamzee would just sit and listen to the bullshit that came out of your mouth no matter how awful it was. It made him a rare person.

You wish there were more people like him.

But you were alone with your thoughts now, in a quiet, small apartment. Somehow, you managed to survive a week in this secluded situation without screaming boredom. You felt philosophical, examining every pleasant moment in your life, and thinking of ways that you could’ve turned them into fiascos. You weren’t very eager to do so the vice versa, despite not looking the part. You actually have a lot of fond memories you’d rather think about.

You felt the urge to stand and walk around, and wallowed into the kitchen. You opened and closed drawers, tap on cabinets, and even stare at the fridge, pretending to vigorously scan for something to eat. You grab a slice of leftover pizza from a few nights ago, and toss it onto a paper plate and into the microwave. 

You were out of mountain dew, (damn you for sharing your energy fuel with Dave) so you were forced to settle with a horrendous cup of water. You fill up a cup and wait, tapping your finger while looking at random places, desperately trying to find something that could catch your attention in your dull home. 

You find yourself looking at the timer for the tenth time. Twenty seconds to go, you can do this. After this was over, you can try to eat pizza over a one hour time frame. Yeah, that sounded like a perfect idea. You wanted to savor the delicacy, because it sure was better than hanging out with shitty friends or attending clubs for the young! 

Nothing could beat this; you were having a fucking blast by yourself. Hanging out with friends? Why not just enjoy the company of the food? Be angry at some guy of shades? You were already pretty frustrated that your food wasn’t done! And for cooling off, you just had…you just had…your water…and your reflection…

Where the fuck is your hat?

You need to find your hat.

The microwave goes off, but you walk away, heading straight toward your room.When you walk in, you throw things around, not because you weren’t freaking out or anything. You were totally fine; nothing was bothering you, not a damn thing. In fact, just looking around for this hat was pretty fucking ridiculous; you were just dandy without it. Sure you were still throwing your pillows across the room, but it was no rush, Karkat Vantas. No fucking rush. 

..Oh shit.

No, god fucking dammit, _no_ Vantas, you were not going to cry. Men do not fucking cry, how many times do you have to remind yourself that? You probably cry more than a usual guy has ever cried in his life. You needed to just breathe, get over yourself, calm the fuck down, and find your hat. You can do this, you can get over this. You can do anything as long as you _didn’t fucking cry-_

Hey, you found your hat!

And you were getting it wet.

Who were you kidding; this was the third time today that you started to cry like this. You slump down into your pillow, crawling into some pathetic excuse of a cocoon to help calm your nerves even just a little. You always had an issue with crying, but you never wanted to put up with yourself once you completely flipped your shit. Your nerves already ran too high this week, and you almost resorted to actually shaving your hair off yourself. But even then, you couldn’t even see that option through. 

When you placed the clipper to your head that day, it made you wonder…why did you dye your hair in the first place? You knew it was not the best solution, but you did it anyway. Why? 

You recalled what told your dad all of those years ago. You informed that you didn’t want to put up with it. You remember your father yelling at you, saying you were just running away from something you had to face. You knew he was right. You knew you were running away from your fucked reality, away from your responsibility. You knew that you were running away from her.

And yet, you never wanted to stop.

You realized then, you were not just a disgusting anomaly, but a weak, pathetic imbecile that ran from every problem you faced. You hide behind your pride, no, a sick concept that you pieced together from the inane illusion that everything was just fine when you said it was. You built more walls, so everything would hurt less. You distracted yourself, avoiding all talk of anything that could hurt you, and pushed yourself into other people’s problems; living off the satisfaction that other people’s smiles could one day help create your own.

It made you a leader. But it also made you a fucking coward. 

Even if you were away from a place that you were used to, it was like you moved your problems like a piece of fucking furniture, and it was killing you. But when you were driven to a point that actually made you ask for help, you still kept insisting that you were just fucking fine the way you were. And they believed you. DAVE believed you.

Did you really want that?

Your eyes were getting heavy, so you throw your glasses to the side along with your last tears. You fell asleep confused, but also deciding that you needed to find that out yourself.

\--

Since you were now officially tired of your own bullshit, so you decided that today wasn’t the day you were going to just sit around. Instead, you were going to do…something. You don’t know what yet, but you were going to do something significant. 

The recreation center was closed today for maintenance, so that wasn’t an option. Maybe today you’d try to visit Dave? Sure, he might slam the door in your face on sight, but maybe it was worth a shot.

You decide to wait it out, despite the fact that you have attempted to leave on numerous occasions before you made that decision. You refused to consider it something atrocious like ‘chickening out’ or something. You were just going to say hi, how hard could that be? 

It was difficult enough to be planned out, since that was what you were doing all day long.

Around five-thirty, you manage to calmly open your ridiculously expensive door with ease, and resist the urge to close it successfully. Though, before you took your first step outside your apartment in an entire week, you jumped at the sound at someone’s door slamming open.

Speak of the Devil! It was Dave, looking pissed as ever as he lowered his foot from kicked opened door. You attempted to hide yourself in this open area, but it seemed like he didn’t notice you anyway. He walked out of the doorway, throwing the smuppet that was on his back to the wall in the hallway and walking towards the stairwell that lead to the roof. Shortly after the door was closed, you noticed the same smuppet was now oozing out cotton.

What the fuck was his deal? Dave had a tendency to get irate quickly, but usually you were the one at fault. If you’d told yourself that you weren’t curious to what Dave was up to, you’d be lying. You didn’t have anything else better to do anyway, so why not investigate? Oh, wouldn’t Terezi be fucking proud.

You stand there for a moment, hearing the quick footsteps disappear, and you follow him up the stairs. 

 

\---

You immediately begin to regret leaving your apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bleghhh this whole chapter really difficult to write... :Y
> 
> Also, Do you guys think i should add more tags? If so, what should they be? Just curious.


	11. Visiting That Sweet Manor at the End of the Street

You were actually surprised that Dave didn’t notice that you were following him. The stairs were old, so even the faintest steps created loud noises. He skipped steps, making it easier for you to remain unnoticed as you waited at the bottom. When he slammed the roof door open, you took advantage of the screeching of the door to climb up quickly. When the door slammed behind him, you quietly ascend, opening the door slightly to get a decent view. You were already ashamed of naturally losing to curiosity while you attempt to spy on your friend.

You quickly scan the perimeter, and then immediately scold yourself for almost heaving out a gaudy snort.

Dave wasn’t on the highest part of the roof this time, though he was looking up at someone who was. His brother had his arms crossed, looking down at Dave like a lord to its servants. Also with the sun setting down in the distance, it only made his ridiculous attire look even more absurd. 

He didn’t seem much different from the last time you’ve seen him; his hat was orange this time, and rather than embarrassing himself with a tucked-in white polo, he wore a black tank top instead. One thing wasn’t different however; his hilariously dumb anime shades. You would never have the decency to not at least crack a smile at the ridiculous accessory. With that being said, you were hoping that your quiet hilarity spasm didn’t echo in the corridor.

You noticed a wicked grin appear across Bro’s face, but oddly, Dave didn’t attempt to climb the rooftop, or really show any form of happy emotion whatsoever. You noticed the tense silence, the situation suddenly revealed itself to you, which made your heart leap a little bit.

…Were they about to strife?

The thought was very unsettling. The concept of battle wasn't exactly foreign to you; it was not anything new to you or anyone else you knew. However, Dave fighting his brother was definitely a different story. For one thing, your friend’s weapon selection made your sickle look like a broken mouse trap. Though most of the weapons he owned were mostly shit, it didn’t mean that it couldn’t do some serious damage with the right person wielding it. You didn't know what his opponent was capable of, but if he could wear those retarded glasses, he could clearly live up to them. 

“I’m home.” Bro says simply, his grin quickly turning into a blank and unreadable expression. 

“I fucking noticed.” Dave responds quickly with sharp sarcasm, brushing what seemed to be leftover cotton off his shoulder. “Seriously, Bro, could we stop with the fucking puppet rain bullshit?”

“Well, could you stop with the ‘not dodging and then bitch about it’ bullshit?” Bro mocks, jumping off the ledge of the higher roof. “You’re seventeen; a single puppet shouldn’t even touch you. Hell, it should be in pieces before it hits the ground.”

“Seventeen’s the age when guardians find the fucking decency to NOT set up traps all around the house.” 

Bro smirks. “Then how the hell am I supposed to greet you, a normal knock on the door and a hug?”

You notice Dave clenching his fist. “The door thing sounds fucking great.” Now it was obvious that he was thoroughly pissed.

They were both quiet for a long time, Bro staring his clearly frustrated little brother. You on the other hand, begin to fancy the idea of absconding.

Bro broke the silence. “Seems like you’re beginning to grow a temper.” He jumped off the ledge, taking out a long, remarkably intimidating looking sword. “Alright, let’s make a deal.”

“What? _Bro._ ”

“If you don’t seem as rusty as you look, then I’ll cut it out. If not, then you’re going to have some interesting balloons at your wedding.” 

Dave groaned in protest, but took out his sword anyways. “Fucking…whatever. If I kick your ass, you’re taking me out to Roadhouse for the next month, too.”

“Well, I don’t know about a month...”

“Two months.”

Bro chuckled before he made the first move, slashing one handed at Dave who blocked without any difficulty. “Now you’re starting to push it. What’s on your mind?”

Without a reply, Dave disappeared, attempting to appear behind his brother only to be swung at from there. He jumped backwards a few feet, before skipping forward to lunge. Bro stepped to his left, and then continued to dodge the sword heading towards his direction as Dave quickly shifted to slash for a waist shot. 

You were starting to have trouble keeping up with their movements, only hearing the sound of footsteps and sword clashes get louder. There was a final clash, that almost sound like a grenade going off, and the next thing you knew, you see Dave land on his back an interesting distance away.

You wince, though you admit that you were more baffled than sympathetic. If Dave could manage to keep up with someone going at that speed, how the hell did you manage to wrestle him to the ground? You suddenly succumb to narcissism, telling yourself that flailing around in your room with a sickle really does pay off. 

 

“Seriously, what’s up little man?” Bro says as Dave struggles to his feet. You noticed that he was unscathed. “I didn’t know you suddenly became all sensitive to puppets and shit.”

“Don’t want to talk about it.” Dave brushed off, picking up his sword.

“What? If you’re going to be all pissy at me, you might as well tell me what your deal is.”

“Why the fuck should I? I don’t remember you getting a degree in fucking Dr. Phil.”

“Never said I wanted to be your therapist, bro.” Bro argued, blocking Dave’s next hit and forcing him back to where he came. “But even I can know that’s something bugging you. Spill.”

“No, _no._ fuck this, fuck you.” Dave hissed, putting away his sword. “I don’t need another fucking person trying to tell me what I’m doing wrong. I’m also not going to choke on more of your fucking bullshit because you know what, you’re going to do the same shit over, and over, and fucking over again. You know what, bro?” Dave scowled, his voice cracking. “If I learned one important thing from you, it’s that people never fucking change. From the first fucking impression, no matter how much you try to see a different person, they end up being a bigger asshole than you thought they were going to be. Like a dog who refuses to do a trick and pisses on you instead, like a lazy kid who got a scholarship then drops out a day later, Like a fucking wannabe pop star who can’t dance for shit, and everyone wants her to sing, but instead she signs up to be a backup dancer in every show in fucking Vegas. You all are all the fucking same. All. The fucking. Same.” 

 

Bro remained silent, looking a bit lost. You on the other hand, were getting hit hard by the wave of guilt flooding you. You were actually, a great example, if anything a prime example to Dave’s accusation. Though, you were not mentioned despite Dave still ranting on. “I’m a great learner, Bro, but for some reason this never seems to fucking stick. I’m a naïve fucking bitch, fucking goldilocks in this bitch, eating the porridge she doesn’t have no damn business eating.” Dave breathed, “So you want to know what the problem is? Let me tell you now Phil Strider; you really fucking suck. So if puppet rain suddenly becomes the good fucking solution? It’s time to cancel your show, and find a new area of study while you’re practicing your swing. In the meantime, I’m going to go do…fucking something. Inside. ” 

 

You were dazed, but as you heard footsteps to snap out of your trance. You squeak, closing the door as quietly as you can. You turn around taking a breath of relief, but your lungs completely collapsed when you found yourself staring at a black tank top again. Also at a blade which was aimed at your neck.

“Well.” Bro said blankly. “Nice haircut.” 

 

You immediately begin to regret leaving your apartment.  
Not another thought crossed your mind as you shoved him as hard as you could. Off guard, Dave’s brother lost balance after finding no ground to stand on the ledge of the stairs. You take this opportunity to slide by and bolt.

You didn’t hear footsteps, but as you slammed the stair door open you felt his presence, his hand almost reaching your hood. Fuck, how were you supposed to run from someone you couldn’t see?! You begin to panic, but the comforting image of your door kept you from stopping and accepting your fate. But that wasn’t enough. 

Within seconds, he was in front of you, and you weren’t surprised as he shoved you backwards. You stumbled back, landing on your ass in complete defeat.

“Good job taking advantage of the area, it got you…somewhere.” He compliments, though you were pretty sure that he knew that your actions weren’t intentional. The door slammed open again, this time Dave flew out, shocked. He seemed more surprised when he caught you sitting on the floor with a sword to your face. 

“Bro, what the fuck?” Dave hissed breathless before turning to you, “Karkat, _what the fuck._ ”

Bro shrugs, but you look at the floor, hoping that you look as ashamed as you felt. You felt Dave’s stare bore into your back, as you try to find something to say. What would work this time, another apology? Maybe call a truth? Both of those sounded like a completely different language to you. 

“He’s a friend of yours now?”

You look up at Bro, who practically looming over you now. His glasses were thinner than Dave’s, so it wasn’t hard to examine his skeptical stare. 

“I guess you could say that.” Dave says darkly. You turn around to look at him, but his face was blank. “I’ve been hanging out with him while you were gone.”

“Really?” Bro laughed, pulling his sword down to give you some breathing space. “It wasn’t that long ago when you said that you were going to hurt the kid.” 

“I did.” Dave replied, shifting uncomfortably as you start to stand. “Though I was the one to forgive, I totally own-”

“Excuse me, Strider.” You cut in with a scowl. Now that was one step to far. You ignored how they acted as if you came out of nowhere. “But according to distant memory I’m pretty sure that I indeed destroyed you and had time to record you begging for my mercy. Would you like for me to get it? I have it right next to the portrait I drew at the time, too.”

Dave opened his mouth to retort, and you readied yourself. You were prepared for his backlash, prepared to shut him down again. But after a few moments, your blood ran cold. He wasn’t going to say anything. The feeling of guilt and tension loomed over you, making you drop your glare. His words echoed off of you, realizing once again you proven his point of being a raging asshole.

“You sure?” Bro questioned, though it seemed rhetorical. At least one person wasn’t looking at you as if you were some crazed bulldog. You began to find a way to reply, but the sound of footsteps traveling up the stairs caught your attention.

You dad shortly after appeared in the hallway, skipping off the last step with what seemed to be takeout. He squinted, identifying you for a moment, and then who you were with. Quickly, one of his dashing smiles appeared which made you grimace. Adults, man.

“Getting acquainted I see, Karkat?” your dad asked softly, walking towards the group with an ecstatic wave. You notice Dave’s brother tensing up with every step. 

“You can say that.” Bro answered for you, clearing his throat. “Have to say though; you got an interesting little kid here.”

“I could say the same for you!” Your dad chuckled, “Karkat has mentioned a few things about your son. Talented with the sword like you, I assume?” he points to the sword in Bro’s grip.

 

“My lil’ bro is fucking magic with it, like any other Strider you’ll ever meet.”

“I see. But I hope that every ‘Strider’ also knows that any strife specibus shouldn’t be activated within this building.”

Almost immediately, the tension spiked, and now you were pretending to be dead in No Man’s Land. The silence was just too long for you, and you almost sighed in relief when Bro captchalogued his sword with a smirk. “We do. However I have to admit, most of the clan tends to forget these things. I’m truly grateful that we have shits like you around to keep this community safe from my terrible fucking memory.” 

Your dad frowns. “Mr. Strider, I’m just stating the rules, there is no need for heavy sarcasm on such a reuniting occasion.”

“Of course Mr. Neighborhood-Watch! I haven’t seen you in forever, so let’s just hug it out like true men while you just whisper all of the rules and regulations of this building in my ear.”

“Well if you think about it, it’s better me than the land lord-“

“Or maybe you could kindly mind your own damn business, _my dear sir_ -”

“Dad.” You interrupted before he had the chance to argue back. He jumped a bit as you tapped his arm, looks like everyone’s forgetting your presence today. “The food is going turn into plastic if we don’t eat it soon.” You noticed his look of irritation, and you felt a little proud of your stopping-your-dad-for-doing-something-retarded-for-once distraction.

Your dad stared at you skeptically, before heaving a defeated sigh himself. “You’re right; I shouldn’t ruin our dinner over this debacle, Karkat.” He took the takeout back and turned to the door, side eying Bro, who seemed to be glaring right back. “Hopefully we’ll talk to you again soon, Mr. Strider.”

“Bring more food next time, enjoyed the smell.” Bro retorted, watching him walk off a distance before directing his attention towards you. “Now I know why you like to drop into everyone’s business. Is he always like that?”

“Yes.” You answer bluntly, without giving a consideration the time of day. “It’ll get worse if you keep being an asshole.”

“Noted. But I’ll have to consider adding it to my trusty ‘things I give a fuck about’ list.” 

You smirk and with that he turns around to walk back down hall with a small wave. You sigh, turning to look at Dave again and…Holy fuck you completely forgot about Dave.

He gives you a tired look, and you drop your gaze, feeling uneasy and lost. Fuck, when did he become so hard to talk to? 

Dave finished the mute conversation with a sigh, and turns to follow his brother back without another motion to you. You stand there for a moment, realizing where you truly stood with Dave at the moment. It wasn’t just a case of you manning the fuck up to actually apologize. It wasn’t just the fact that he was insanely pissed for your actions. 

He completely hated you.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, its been a while!
> 
> So first off, I wanna congratulate the peeps who won S.S Davekat fanfiction contest, and recommend everyone to GO READ THOSE AMAZING DAVEKAT ENTIRES THEY ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST!!!!
> 
> You can read those here (:  
> http://ss-davekat.tumblr.com/entries
> 
> Secondly, for the thousand time, I apologize for being very slow and inconsistent with this story! Schools started and its senior year so I've been pretty busy...and wasting my time with mmo's. lD
> 
> I'm pretty sure the updates will become slower as the year goes on, but, i will try my best to prevent that from happening!


	12. The Neighborhood Watch

Fortunately, beating your dad to the door the next morning was not an issue. You noticed that he seemed oddly distant, but regardless pleasantly surprised to see you willing to go back to the youth center. You felt somewhat bad that you weren’t going for exactly the right reason, but you had plenty of other things to be worried about. You needed to talk to Callie again, not only to thank her with all of dignity you had to offer, but also you…needed advice. 

Oh god dammit, just the thought made you extremely uncomfortable! This task was so unnatural, you were never the person who sat on the therapist’s couch. But you weren’t stupid; you knew that getting Dave’s forgiveness would be difficult. You realized that you couldn’t simply just apologize. You dug too deep of a hole for that to be enough.

You were so deep into your plan that it wasn’t until your dad pulled out the car from the garage sylladex when you realized that you’d forgotten your hat. For a moment you panic, running your hand over the now rapidly growing curly mess on your head. It was a battle, but you manage to force yourself to get over it. You felt proud as you brushed off those thoughts, even if your heart pounded against your chest after you caught eye of the building. 

Fuck, it was even difficult getting out your car. Your dad’s smile calmed you slightly as he waved goodbye, but it wasn’t enough to completely control your nerves.

You walked towards the building, and almost immediately you felt the stares bore into your back as you walked by. You were now an unfamiliar face, and one with striking red hair at that. It was impossible for you to even hope to go anywhere unnoticed. You walk into the building, speeding up your pace as you hear people call for you to stop or slow down a little. You failed to even realize that you were in your assigned room until you were in the dead center of it.

The chatter died down, as everyone stared at the mysterious guy that barged through without warning. You had no idea of what to do next, and by the looks of many faces, including your supervisor who was not warned of a ‘new’ member; they didn’t either.

The silence annoyed you; you knew you didn’t look THAT different. You scowl and scan the room find an empty chair that you could throw into the corner again. Finding Calliope would clearly start from there. You were completely thrown off guard however, when the room went into an uproar before you moved an inch.

“Fucking hell Karkat, you look so different!”

“Is that natural? I didn’t know you wore glasses?”

“…Oh my gosh! Look! Look at his eyes! His eyes are so pretty!”

“Fucking rad hair, man, you do that yourself?”

“Hey…!” you protest, squeezing through the slowly growing crowd in the room as your supervisor calmed everyone down. When the group surrounded you again, your scowl only grew as well as your temper. “Alright, you all have ten fucking seconds to kindly fuck off to your seats before I take the wall phone and choke everyone with the ridiculously long cord while I’m calling the police for assistance-”

“Karkat!”

Before you could register this particular call towards you, Calliope was already pushing aside the large crowd. You hoped that she would drag you out of the fray, but instead she joined you, hands tightly clenching your shoulders while she examined you thoroughly. 

“Karkat, thank god you're…okay?” she sighed, “I thought after Dave chopped your neck off you were a complete goner. I see your hair turned out a little better, how about you? I know, I know, that day was just a complete and utter disaster for you, and I feel just awful and-”

“Calli.” you interrupt.

“Oh…Yes?”

“I can’t feel my arms.”

 

\--

After finally managing to blow off the rest of your group, your supervisor decided that there wouldn’t be any assigned group activities today, in celebration of your return. You stole the opportunity to drag Calliope to the back yard.

You never had a reason to come here before, but now the place was the ideal spot to you. The back yard was huge; ridiculously huge since it was located in the heart of downtown. How they managed to fit a giant track here with plenty of space to spare you would never know; but now, you used the space to your advantage, and led Calliope to an area farthest from the building. It was the ideal location, no one could hear the conversation and you’d have time to see if anyone was coming along to eavesdrop as well. Calliope of course questioned your motives, but didn't seem to mind after you quickly brushed off her questions. It wasn’t hard to assume that you had a lot to talk about. 

You told her everything that happened after you woke up that day, from your bullshit antics that pissed Dave off in the first place, to his reaction and new attitude towards it. She sat and listened carefully, keeping a neutral expression as you told your tale.

“...And that’s when I realized he completely hated me now.” you finished. “It’s almost like he is trying to erase our friendship completely. I admit, I was a huge dick, and I want to just want to say I’m sorry. But when I try to, it...he’s....fuck.” 

“Just hard to confront?” 

“No no no.” You say, gripping the metal fence you leaned on tightly in irritation. “It’s not me, I can talk to anyone whenever the fuck I want. But just...he make it seem like no matter what I do to try to fix this, i’d only just make a damn fool of myself anyways. So I...” you clear your throat. “...I don’t know how to handle it.” 

You side eye Calliope to distract yourself from your thoughts. She looked, to your surprise, lost in her own thoughts. You began to feel uneasy. Were you wrong? Could she really help you after all? Maybe this was a bad idea, dragging her into the messes you created in the first place-

 

“Do you remember your first day here?” she asked suddenly.

You almost didn’t register the question. Meenah however, came to mind immediately. “Sort of.”

Calliope smiled. “Well, I remember that day vividly. Why? Because there were a lot of things that took me by surprise. Usually, it’s the little details in the day that interest me. I usually take more interest in the picture I colored with Rose Art crowns than Meenah’s ability to use her braids to cause harm.” 

“…But oddly, the most interesting part of the day was when you humiliated our last supervisor. You were the center of attention, the big deal, the biggest hit of the room, and I actually took an interest in you.” She thought about what she said, and chuckled a bit. “Though, my interest in you was very negative. Causing problems seemed so effortless to you, and I thought you were selfishly taking advantage of your talent. But as I see it now, it wasn’t like you were trying to be an ass. You just didn't want to be there, and were just expressing how you felt. It seemed like everyone was being selfish in their own way, expecting you to just act however they wanted you to act, just to make life easier for themselves. It made me ask myself, who is really the bad person here?”

 

You stare back dumbfounded. “I-”

“The answer is everyone was.” Calliope explained, “You, the class, the supervisor, even me, all contributed to that calamity. The only thing that varied was the amount of contribution. It’s like saving up for a new car for you and your roommates, with one guy paying about fifty percent and another ten.” She smiles at her analogy, but then her face drops a bit when she examines your lost expression. “Well, what i’m trying to say is, the person to blame is never quite clear because everyone was at fault in that situation. You were the one who caused your hair in such a horrendous condition in the first place, but even if you did ask for help, I didn’t even consider how you would feel about us shaving your head clean. I didn’t even ask, and Meenah and Dave followed along without hardly a question at all.” 

Calliope gives you an apologetic look, and you instantly stare at the ground. “It’s okay-”

“No it isn't, Karkat.” Calliope interrupts. “It’s not okay. We should’ve consulted you and at least tried to convince you before we made such a rash decision.”

“Yes it is.” you look up now, “Even if you say that it was supposedly everyone fault, I still fucked up. I didn’t even try to accept your help even after I asked for it, I just exploded without a fucking thought. What you were doing was right, and you guys helped me the best way any good goddamn person could. What I did was took your kindness and threw it on the ground- ”

“Why did you dye your hair?”

Your blood runs cold. You stop mid-sentence so quickly that your mouth hangs open as you stare at Calliope, terrified. 

Calliope sadly smiles. “There’s something more to it, isn't there?”

You decided not to answer.

“...Just as I thought.” Calliope concludes, now looking at you with a sterner expression. “Karkat, listen to me. We just stormed into your comfort zone and didn’t even think about how it would affect you. Of course you reacted like you did.” You look away, but you still notice Calliope smile. “But still, you came to this place to figure out a way to apologize to the same people that hurt you. To me, you’re practically a Saint. I’m sure if you talk to Dave about this and be completely honest with him, I’m sure he’d see you in the same light I do. You don’t need to give him just an apology. What you need to give him is an explanation.”

“...I doubt it.” you mutter skeptically, “What makes you think that he’d forgive me just for telling him that?”

“Because you’re both are very similar.” She said, without skipping a beat. “He’s probably just as forgiving as you are!”

 

\--

 

After you were allowed to leave the center, you decided to stop by a convenience store to get a few snacks as FUEL for THOUGHT. It has been hours since your talk with Calliope, though...her words were still bugging you.

“Forgiving...” You say this out loud, picking up a bag of Hot Cheetos and strolling to the front counter. If he was as forgiving, then what made him so distant? You would love to believe in Calliopes words, but her theory really didn’t seem likely to you. You didn’t admit that so quickly, because if you did it meant that you were at square one all over again.

You become lost in your thoughts after boarding your usual bus, so the ride home seemed relatively short. Already half way through your bag of Cheetos, you were craving for something to drink. You regret not buying something at the store, but the unopened boxes of Mountain Dew lying around in your kitchen were beginning to pile up anyways.

You enter the apartment building and begin climbing up the stairs at a sluggish pace. Since you haven’t been out much, you weren’t used to the huge flight of stairs anymore. But, you still make it to the 20th floor of stairs without much issue. You take a deep breath, and start off again...

But then a loud clanging noise made you jump back completely.

“What the fuck...?” You mutter, looking up the flight of stairs as there was multiple clanging noises after that. Was there a strife? Wasn’t that banned inside of the building? 

No, maybe you were just being paranoid. Maybe there was an irritated plumber taking out its anger on a pipe. Yeah, that sounds just about right. Yeah, that was it...

But why did your gut tell you otherwise?

You begin to walk up the stairs, a lot more quickly than before. You listen carefully to the sounds from above. You quickly recognize the beat, was indeed unique.

First there were two hits, followed by a third hit that was louder than the first two. With this in mind, assuming that this was indeed what you feared, the people of interest in this situation both had very different techniques.

One who used two hands to initiate powerful single blows...

And another who dual wield.

You didn’t know many people who used dual wield specibus’, only about a few of your friends. In this situation, however, there was only one person that came to mind. You decide to speed up your pace, even if you were sprinting already.

You were on the twenty-eighth floor, and the footsteps and shouts from above became all but clear. Now rather than the unease, all you felt was pure embarrassment and rage.

“DAD!” You shout from up the stairs, controlling yourself from shrieking like an enrage fool. “DAD WHAT THE-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence, as you reached the top of the stairs the moment a body comes flying at you. You dodge reflexively with a yelp, barely holding yourself so that you didn’t fall back down the stairs. You recognize the body that was staggering next to you by the popped up collar and the remarkable shades. The only thing that seemed a bit different was that his shirt was ripped in the front, and his hat was missing.

You look down the hall, and you do find your dad, falling to his knees. He had both of his claws equipped, and his shirt also a disaster. A little further away was Dave, his back to the opposite wall. Even with his shades it was easy to tell that he was just as stunned as you were.

Your dad was in a daze for a moment, before eyes shooting up and registering that you were here. “Oh, welcome home, Karkat!” he chirps, standing up and brushing off the dirt on his pants with his obnoxious crab claw. “I thought i’d come home early to surprise you with dinner.”

You were about to completely disregard everything you father just said and release your already overflowing rage and confusion with questions and insults. But a hand stopped you. Bro Strider lets out a cold chuckle as he lowers his hand and grips his blade, which sent a chill down your spine. Before you knew it, he dashed away, lunging his sword at your father. 

Your dad although seemingly distracted, goes into defense naturally. Immediately after blocking, the laughing man took advantage of his position and went completely offensive, delivering blow after blow. Bro’s moves were quick and swift, but at the same time, insanely powerful. You couldn’t keep up with his movements, but your father apparently could, keeping a firm ground and blocking each attack carefully. It wasn’t much longer before you dad began to counter Bro’s attacks, catching up to his speed and slashing away with his claws. 

You don’t remember your dad being this good at fighting. Was he always just going easy on you as a child?

Bro lunges again, and your father grabs the sword with his right claw, attempting to disarm him. The swordsman realizes this, and begins to pull back his sword with insane strength. When that didn’t work out, he pushed forward instead, causing your dad to lose balance. He then took the opportunity to recover his blade and low roundhouse kicks, forcing your dad to retreat.

“You got some fucking nerve to attempt to ignore your opponent.” Bro huffs, viciously glaring at your recovering father.

“Mr. Strider...” Your dad says calmly, though giving a sharp look right back. “Are you stating that I’m not allowed greet my own son?”

“You don’t deserve such a luxury, crabman.” He retorts. “You didn’t even give me a chance to greet mines.”

“Excuse me for my lack of consideration. I guess i can come to inform you of your potential exile at a later time.”

“Exile?” Bro really laughs now. “Is this the fucking Lion King?”

“I didn’t realize that you liked to compare real life scenarios with movies for children.”

“Well, I guess I’ll accept that perspective since I am now aware that the stick in your ass won’t let you see much else.”

 

“HEY!” you shout, already moving forward, walking straight past Bro and walking right in front of your rising father. “It is really, REALLY hard to not mistake you two for actors in a movie about fucking PSYCHOPATHS that strife in the middle of a hallway endangering every fucking living item around them, yes, PSYCHOPATHS, because surely no sane person would be able to do something this fucking stupid. What the fuck is going on here?”

Your dad gives you a long look, before straightening himself up as if he just came back from a jog. “Karkat, the situation has absolutely nothing to do you with you, other than the fact that I am protecting your well-being while we reside here. This man...” He casually extends his claw to Bro, who was checking his sword. “Has from what I’ve noticed, completely is a danger to everyone on this floor, no, this building. I have informed the landlord, and was asked kindly to inform him that while we live here, any of his shenanigans that he might place in his household will come to an end. I tried to calmly inform him this, but...” He laughs, he fucking laughs. “I had to defend myself, you see.”

You felt yourself shaking, you felt as if your head was going to fly off your head, roll on the floor, fly into your dad’s mouth and blow up the entire building. But despite that you were, in no way whatsoever, surprised by your dad’s actions at all. Your dad was a businessman. Your dad was a businessman that managed to keep a decent social standing in a area that could easily eat you alive. He’s told you many interesting stories in his line of work, and always informed you to be wary of everyone, and problems sprung up no matter what you accomplish. 

If someone was wrong, you fix it. If something threatened your property or your well-being, it was top priority to handle it. This code was right in a way, even a cynical and straightforward guy like you knew that in this situation, it was complete hoof beast shit.

It seemed like Bro had the same opinion as you, because he was already walking past you. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, buddy.” he said, “But i’ll just let you know, neighborhood watch guy, you haven't even seen danger yet.”

“Hey hey hey hey!” You shout, walking back in front of angered man, preventing him from dashing off at your dad again. “As much as I’d justlove to see both of you go at it, this is not going to benefit anyone.”

“Karkat, you don’t need to defend me.” your dad interrupted, clearly annoyed.

“Yes dad, I think I fucking need to this time.” you say, turning around to face him. “Dad you told me to adapt to this new situation, to this new place. And fucking hell, i did. So why the hell are you trying to change all of that? There is nothing wrong with these guys, you’re naturally rejecting them because they making you a little uncomfortable. This isn't Alternia, calm down.”

There was a long silence for a moment, and the moment you closed your mouth, your dad wasn’t looking at you anymore. It was almost like he was taking every single word and processing it. You stared into your dads eyes, seeing him fight logic and reason with the rage and irritation welled up inside of him. You were surprised that he wasn't already verbally shutting down your words. But no, your dad remained silent, and the silence seemed to drag on.

Until it was cut off by laughter.

At first you didn't recognize it, it was too faint, as if it was not meant to be heard. But then Dave couldn't seem his laughter much longer. Unlike his usual short chuckles, his laughing seemed sharp and cold.

“What the fuck...” you ask, surprised that your mouth actually moving. “Are you laughing for?”

“I’m sorry...” he says as he leans back on the wall, arms wrapping his stomach. “I am just surprised that the person that can’t keep his cool to save his ass is the very same person who can easily lecture someone on how to fucking ‘adapt’.”

It felt like someone had dropped a grand piano on you. Bro behind you whistled, either impressed by Dave’s negative observation or reacting accordingly to a clearly awkward situation. You glared, you couldn't help it. You were easily succumbing to anger, ready to retort. Hell, you couldn’t help it. Just a few words already put you on edge. It was infuriating to be infuriated. How the hell did Dave manage to shut you down so fucking quickly?

“Thought so.” Dave muttered after a long silence in almost disappointment. “Whatever. Have fun with the irony priest, Bro.” He pushed himself off the wall, and began to walk towards the door of his apartment.

So that was it. He was going to leave you there, frustrated, angry, and even more confused than ever. Callie’s words ran through your mind. How was he a fucking Saint? Fucking hell, why were you just pretending that you were one? Self-hate absorbed you again, but something else inside you was more noticeable than that. Panic.

As every second passed, the boy with the Ben Stiller shades walked closer to the door. You realized, that the moment he closed the door behind him the relationship between the two of you was gone. He was going to destroy your friendship once and for all, right there. Everything in your body told you that that absolutely could not happen. You decided to stop listening to your thoughts. You needed to listen to…to…

You couldn’t finish, as you realized that you had chucked your bag of Cheetos across the hall. And Dave caught them instinctively. He did not predict what was coming after next however, as you charged straight at him, yelling like a goddamn dying Spartan. He held up his hands to defend his face, which only made your job easier. You grabbed him by the wrist, and then with all the strength you could muster, dragged him to the door that led to the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter sitting around completed for almost months now, mostly due to school and the lack of motivation to proofread this chapter on my own hahaha. (if you do see any godawful grammar errors just let me know fjlkj)
> 
> I haven't read homestuck in a while, but i do want to finish this story. So, i decided that the best thing for me to do is to skim through homestuck to refresh my memory of what the characters are like before i write anything else! 
> 
> Until then lovelies. :D


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